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hubby is coming to "talk" to me today...and pick up his 4 wheeler...

How do I seduce him into wanting to spend time with me INSTEAD of going to hang with the guys??


I dont want to seem like I am desperately wanting him the way he is....I just want him to want me so badly he is willing to change a few things just to have me...

help me out!

You could chain yourself to the 4 wheeler but that would probably only be physically unbearable for you as he runs around on it with his buddies.  Whatever you do, don't put him in a position that feels "backed up against a wall" , some kind of ultimatum or immediate uncomfortable choice to make ("its them or me", even for just an hour) or whatever.  Just talk like a friend.  He already knows he is a spouse and there are issues in the marriage.  Let him know you are looking really forward to him coming home and that you pray that he has a wonderful day with his friends. 

Quote from: TheMommyJezebel on Fri Nov 28, 2008 - 10:14:24
hubby is coming to "talk" to me today...and pick up his 4 wheeler...

How do I seduce him into wanting to spend time with me INSTEAD of going to hang with the guys??


I dont want to seem like I am desperately wanting him the way he is....I just want him to want me so badly he is willing to change a few things just to have me...

help me out!

Well, that's a tough one.  If he WANTS the marriage to work, if he wants to be with you, then it wouldn't be too difficult to do what you're saying.  It really depends on what's in his head.  The only thing I can tell you for sure NOT to do is to make sure you don't come across to him as whiny.  Men hate that.  Let us know how it turns out, we're rooting for you.

Men like the chase......

love,

Sopranette

It may be that what is in his head is not "THE MARRIAGE".   That is a ball and chain institution to many.  The relationship won't fit too well into a male box until he figures it out.  Forcing the process may not be too productive.  No guy wants to come home to a clingy, whiny little girl.  (No ... it only feels that way to him!)  He loves to come home to a woman though.  Concentrate on being a woman.  They are softer, feminine and smell better than his buddies.

"Want" in what way?

Apron, heels, and his favorite perfume would be one way.

If "want" means move back in with you, to keep your marriage together, we don't have enough info.

Jezebel

From reading both of your posts it sounds like you are in a tough situation. It also sounds like you love and want to stay married to the man, so make it work. First thing  to realize is that if you depend on anyone to make you happy you are in for disappointment. Happiness comes from within yourself, as well as from without. Make up your mind that you are going to be happy no matter what your husband or his family does or says. Once you have made that decision start talking some control of the situation. Be a little more assertive. I am not talking about in -your -face- shouting- demands. That doesn't sound like you, and it would only make things worse anyway. I am talking about; for example if your MIL comes over, ask her sweetly if she would mine going to the store to get you a bag of sugar. If she agrees, thank her and brag on her when she gets back, and then think up something else for her to do. If she declines then ask her to watch the kids while you go.  Stay at the store two hours. When you get back, apologize for being gone so long, then ask her to keep the kids next Tues while you get your hair done. Be very sweet and loving to your MIL, but keep making demands. She will either start leaving you alone, or you will become good friends.

Also be a little more independent and assertive with your husband. I know it is painful when he leaves you out of his fun, but you may have to learn a little acting so that the pain doesn't show so much. As you have already been told by others don't be clingy or whiney. Find something to ocuppy and entertain yourself while he is gone. When he gets back from his fun, tell him how glad you are to see him, and then tell him what a good time you had while he was gone. Be happy. the choice is yours.

Have you tried pizza? Or perhaps chocolate? ;)

Pardon the question, but ...

WHY DO YOU BOTHER EVEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SLIMEBALL?

Is he still staying with 'the' mother?
If I were you I would play it cool, not easy I know but he has to WANT to make the marriage work. It takes 2 to want it.

Quote from: Pokhara on Wed Dec 17, 2008 - 05:57:55
Pardon the question, but ...

WHY DO YOU BOTHER EVEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SLIMEBALL?

What is it again that makes him a slime ball? I don't know the whole story. By the way...trying to change your husband is usually not a good thing. We all would do good work on ourselves. Sure, there are times we need to try to change people, like save them from a sinful habit. So I don't know enough. I guess I need more of the story.

Hope things are going better for you.

Find your own "4 wheeling" adventure and have a great time at whatever it is. You will be more attractive to your hubby if you are a happy person doing whatever you like to do too, and do it with a passion.

At least that's my opinion.