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Hey Everyone,

It's been a while since I have posted last, but I know I am always welcome.  Lately there has been this girl at school that I have become interested in.  Anyways, I met her through a friend a little less than a year ago when we went snowboarding...we never saw each others faces so nothing really sparked.

Then this year I re-met her, haha, and now I am very interested because she has a great personality and is always laughing.  Plus she has one of the same interests as me, lol.  I know that she was raised Catholic, so I am pretty sure she has a good upbringing and I do too, although I have really back slidden.  I guess now she has a boyfriend, but I'm not sure how into this guy she is because I never hear her talk about him or see him.  We flirt a little back and forth and always make each other laugh, and I think our personalities just fit.  But, because of the boyfriend, I am not sure if I should approach this or not.

I really don't know what to do.  I've been in a similar situation before and I basically got hurt and don't want it to happen again, but I don't want to regret not doing anything about it either.  Should I maybe ask her to go snowboarding one day and see how it goes?

Thanks guys!

YES . Ask her. Have a good time as friends then see where it goes. Keep us posted on how it delevops

Yes ask her to go out! i mean snowboarding! and tell us what happen next. Spirit happy started it.

No seriously good relationship started with a friendship and as long as she is not married you have all the hope to win her just be a gentleman.

Sorry to throw a spanner into the works here, but if you're really back slidden as you say, then are you really a suitable match for her?

Before you look for your ideal partner you should ask yourself how God wants you to live your life.

There I go ... blunt of speech as usual.

I hear what you are saying Pokhara,

I mean, I still am a very spiritual person, but I have iniquities just like you do and everybody else.  I want change in my life, and I see this as an opportunity.  I do have a lot of work to do, and also lately, due to some family issues and the stress at school, I have become depressed and somewhat angry as a result.

I need to find a way to overcome these problems and I am trying.  I am praying, but my prayers don't get answered, at least they don't seem to.  By back slidden, I didn't mean I was a womanizing party animal, but rather in a state of mind which I shouldn't be in.  I hope this helps explain what I mean :)

Thanks for the answers everyone.  If I do ask her to go snowboarding, obviously I keep it casual and just see how it feels right?

Thanks again!

Quote from: DueyAB on Tue Dec 09, 2008 - 09:56:52


If I do ask her to go snowboarding, obviously I keep it casual and just see how it feels right?

Thanks again!

I think it's okay to ask her as a friend to go snowboarding, but you have to think about what your true motives are.  Are you asking in the hopes of her breaking up with her boyfriend and her interests turning over to you?  Or are you asking her because you want to get to know her better?  I think it is the first one.  Don't be disappointed then if she doesn't get rid of her boyfriend.  Just saying that so you don't end up getting hurt.  She may just be flirting and friendly with you, but not necessarily to the point of breaking up with her boyfriend.   However, maybe she IS interested in you.  Then it is worth a shot.  Just don't get your hopes up tooo high.   Just make sure that whatever you do, have a relationship worthy of God.  Don't be in any hurry to involve sex in the relationship....save it for marriage.  I have made that mistake in my past, and it never seems to work out.  I am now saving myself for marriage and that very special person who hopefully God will bring into my life.  I will pray also for you that God sends that very special person into your life!  Good luck to you!

if she has a boyfriend you should maybe leave her alone as far as asking her out is concerned. Would you like it if  you were going out with her and some other guy asked her out? That isnt right in my opinion. If she breaks up with him, then you are free to ask her then.

Quote from: Pokhara on Tue Dec 09, 2008 - 09:44:45
Sorry to throw a spanner into the works here, but if you're really back slidden as you say, then are you really a suitable match for her?

Before you look for your ideal partner you should ask yourself how God wants you to live your life.

There I go ... blunt of speech as usual.

?? What was that! It is not a blunt of speech and i guess that is not your business either. I believe we are here to encourage each other and have a good fellowship.

Quote from: chosenone on Tue Dec 09, 2008 - 20:17:43
if she has a boyfriend you should maybe leave her alone as far as asking her out is concerned. Would you like it if  you were going out with her and some other guy asked her out? That isnt right in my opinion. If she breaks up with him, then you are free to ask her then.

Yeah, I agree with this...it would definitely hurt and also, my chances of getting rejected are way higher.  I also don't think that my motives would be right either.  If she would dump her boyfriend so quickly for another guy, what would stop her from doing the same to me?

I think I will just lay low, and if she ever does become single...I'll call her up, haha.

Thanks for the replies everyone!

Quote from: DueyAB on Wed Dec 10, 2008 - 00:47:37

Quote from: chosenone on Tue Dec 09, 2008 - 20:17:43
if she has a boyfriend you should maybe leave her alone as far as asking her out is concerned. Would you like it if  you were going out with her and some other guy asked her out? That isnt right in my opinion. If she breaks up with him, then you are free to ask her then.

h, I agree with this...it would definitely hurt and also, my chances of getting rejected are way higher.  I also don't think that my motives would be right either.  If she would dump her boyfriend so quickly for another guy, what would stop her from doing the same to me?

I think I will just lay low, and if she ever does become single...I'll call her up, haha.

Thanks for the replies everyone!

Very wise reply young man

Quote from: DueyABBy back slidden, I didn't mean I was a womanizing party animal, but rather in a state of mind which I shouldn't be in.  I hope this helps explain what I mean.

I'm glad you are not a womanizing party animal.  I expect that most Christians sometimes find themselves in a state of mind that they shouldn't be in, so don't let it worry you unduly.

She can always say no...if that's the worst thing that can happen...

Hey guys!!!

I'm sorry to have pulled up this old thread, but I figured it would be better than starting another one.  I have some great news!  This past weekend I found out that this girl is actually single.  The reason I know is because my class went away on a trip this weekend and she was on it and my friends noticed how I was when I was around her.  They then pushed me to go ask her out, but I told them that I wasn't sure if she had a boyfriend or not.  Then my buddy just went up to her and asked her and she told him yes.  I am quite sure she knows now that I like her because I was sitting next to her and my friends called me over and then my other friend went to talk to her.

So now I called her and asked her out this weekend, but unfortunately she has plans so we can't see each other.  But then she said that we will definately work out the details...she is pretty shy and so am I.  She didn't say no, and we always flirt with each other.  She wasn't giving me a let down was she?

I really want to pursue her, so when do you think I should contact her next to make the plans concrete?

Give it a couple days and then call.  If you are asking her out for the weekend, definitely call by Wednesday to make plans.  Just a thought.  No concrete directions for when to ask a person out though, just an idea.  Good luck!!!! 

I have no idea how to get this girls heart...she is so hot and cold with me.  I know some of it is probably nerves, but to some degree I wish the games would just stop and I could have a concrete conversation with her to tell her how I feel.

I'm at a loss right now.  Yesterday I had called her and left a message and she did call me back - which means partly she must be interested.  I asked her what she was doing on Friday and she let me know...and then I just said well I was wondering if you would like to go out with me sometime.  She said we could work another time out.  When I texted her today, she said she couldn't meet because she is busy, which is fine.  But then I asked if another day would work better and she still hasn't gotten back to me.

I have no idea what to think!?  I am losing sleep over this and getting really worked up.  We are so compatible in every way, yet she gives me the cold shoulder.  What do I do???  I don't want to give up too easily and lose all hope...I've been let down so many times, actually everytime I try to develop a relationship with a girl and I'm 22.  I am attractive, smart, and have an awesome sense of humour and am adventurous.

I'm sorry for the rant, but I just need someone to lift my spirits...

Quote from: DueyAB on Tue Jan 13, 2009 - 14:02:25
I have no idea how to get this girls heart...she is so hot and cold with me.  I know some of it is probably nerves, but to some degree I wish the games would just stop and I could have a concrete conversation with her to tell her how I feel.

I'm at a loss right now.  Yesterday I had called her and left a message and she did call me back - which means partly she must be interested.  I asked her what she was doing on Friday and she let me know...and then I just said well I was wondering if you would like to go out with me sometime.  She said we could work another time out.  When I texted her today, she said she couldn't meet because she is busy, which is fine.  But then I asked if another day would work better and she still hasn't gotten back to me.

I have no idea what to think!?  I am losing sleep over this and getting really worked up.  We are so compatible in every way, yet she gives me the cold shoulder.  What do I do???  I don't want to give up too easily and lose all hope...I've been let down so many times, actually everytime I try to develop a relationship with a girl and I'm 22.  I am attractive, smart, and have an awesome sense of humour and am adventurous.

I'm sorry for the rant, but I just need someone to lift my spirits...

I dont want to dampen your spirits but to me it sounds as if she isnt too interested, unless she really is playing games and if she is it needs to stop now.

Play back...it's fun.

Haha,

Well it's been a couple of days now since I last made contact with her...although we do see each other in class still.  There is a bit of tension between us now, but I can't really tell if that's necessarily bad or good.  I figured I would just give her some space for a bit.  I had seen her and her sister walking out of the school and we exchanged the old "see you later routine" and her sister smiled at me (but that may mean nothing).

Anyways, I'm going to give her a call tomorrow I think (I will probably get the machine), so what should I say?  Especially if i get the machine!?  Just keep it to light flirting?

Oh, and if you haven't already noticed, I've taken a couple of breaths over the past days and have calmed down quite a bit.

Thanks for the help!

I personally am a "go-getter." If I am interested in someone, I will fight for them till the day that I die. So, YES, you ask her to snowboard with you. If you keep asking her to hang out, your relationship might get stronger and you'll become closer and she might finally realize that she wants to date you. You'll never know if you don't try. Keep us posted on how it goes!!!

With aLL Serenity,
Morgan