Christian Forums

I think almost every single Christian will benefit from this topic.  This topic is to discuss with the opposite gender what your gender likes in the other gender (what a mouthful).  In other words, Dan wants a date, but he doesn't know how to attract this girl he likes.  Megan comes to this topic and helps him out and tells him what girls like in a guy and Dan wins the date (hooray Dan, lol)!

So, back to topic.  Being a guy, I would be more attracted if the girl that liked me made the move first.  It could be something like starting a conversation and once she and I get in more conversations, I might make the asking-out-on-a-date move first if the relationship develops into a friendship.  If the relationship is still just kind of a once-in-awhile conversation, then I'd like the girl to ask me on a date or ask if I'm doing anything Friday or something. 

Well, I am a guy and I don't really know what girls like and I'd really like to be more social with girls, but I don't know how to and what they would like in me...

Weeeellllll.... as a girl, I kindof like the guy to ask me out.  I think it is too forward for a girl to ask out a guy.  I think it is the man's role to pursue the woman.  That is my personal opinion, and I'm sure some people will disagree.  But that is me. 

I think it is kindof sweet, the way a guy from my church handled his interest in me...he gave me his number, and kindof left it open for me to call him if I wanted to, or when I was ready.  At first I didn't think I was interested, but now I have been thinking about him lately, and I still have his number and am considering calling him.  I am going to give him a try.  I still will expect him to ask me out, however, if he doesn't, I may ask him to go for coffee...something easy and innocent and not as nerve-provoking as a dinner. 

What else?  I am looking for another Christian, so from a single Christian woman's perspective, this is important.  Non-Christians, I think, are going to have a problem (some of them) with avoiding sex before marriage.  It is such the norm in relationships these days that I think "normal guys" aren't going to want to wait. 

My other qualities that I am looking for...someone sweet, gentlemanly (opens doors, pulls out your chair, buys flowers, wants to meet your parents...), affectionate (wants to hold your hand....), someone good-looking and someone around my age.  That is what I am personally looking for. 

What I (as a girl) don't want:  someone dishonest, someone who is just interested "in one thing", someone who has too high of an opinion of themselves, someone who is more interested in their muscles than in me, someone who is a workaholic and doesn't have time for me, someone who is not very talkative, ...that 's about it.   

I hope you find the girl you are looking for!  I wish you all the luck.  God bless you...

 

Kristinaf, from a guy's point of view, it sounds like this guy is interested but wants to make sure that you are interested.  I would call him and go out for some coffee or something small like that.  Don't necessarily try to make a move on him (ex. don't try to hold his hand or anything).  Then, if he wants to go out on another date, say the movies or something, you guys should meet up somewhere before and THEN start holding his hand.  Trust me, he will love it!  When you are about to hold his hand, just do it casually. 

I'm kind of shy around new people, but around my friends I'm all casual and cool.  I don't know how to change my attitude to casual around people that I don't normally hang out with.  I do get caught up with work, school, bible studies/plans, etc. so I guess I can be a workaholic, but if I had a girlfriend, I would ask her out on dates when I'm off work and spend time with her the most I could.  Most of the time, I feel that I only look good when I have my shirt off.  I'm not the most attractive person.  I still have to get around that, but I don't know how. 

A great place to meet people are doing things of common interest.  Let's say Home Depot attending some kind of fix it yourself workshop, Church activities - joining a coed softball team or volunteering work.  There are Christian Singles events, etc.  Where you meet her and how you meet her are very important.  A good sign is to just start talking as if you've known each other forever...chemistry is so important.  It can't be forced - it has to flow natural. 

I would like to meet a Godly man.  I want a man who puts God first, then family, and friends last.  As I think about it a Godly man would sum things all up.  Because to me that means that he will have morals and values.  A man who is mature and has his priorities in place.  Someone who knows when to be serious and when to laugh.  Resposible with his bills.  Has a good relationship with his mother but is NOT a mama's boy.  A self sufficient man - Independent.  A man who knows how to balance his time between family, work, and friends.  If he is divorced, he should put his children first before a woman.  A man who knows how to be a man.  One that will call me and say, I'm taking you out to dinner... It's a surprise.  A leader of the home.  Someone I can trust, respect and admire.  Someone positive and slow to anger.  A man who is fair - where we can do for each other and not keep score.  Most men don't like to dance so I may be pushing my luck here with this one.  Just take me out dancing once a month and I will be a happy woman.  Take turns cooking - - and the other washes dishes.  Someone who will make me their best friend.  Someone who will not turn to his mother or close friends (especially women) to complain about something I am doing.   If he doesn't come to me than how do I know - and how does that help the relationship.  Someone who is not jealous yet secure but not overly arrogant or conceited.  I need a strong man... not a whiner or one that can be easily tempted (fornication).  A man who will actually buy me an outfit for my birthday - he can't send his mother or sister to buy it.  Just knowing that thought was put into the gift.   Also, great conversation is key.  A man who I can pray with.  I am praying for a Godly Best Friend.

Here's a secret to you men out there: It's the smallest things in life that make us happy.  A thoughtful gesture - - a quick note or reminder that your thinking about her.  All new couples do this sort of thing at the beginning but the flame burns out and that's when the problems arise.    I once heard that a relationship is like a plant - you got to keep watering the plant and never stop because if you do the plant dies - just like the relationship. 

Men should not be too clingy - girls don't like that.  Not possesive, controlling or manipulating.  Or always have a motive behind being nice for self purpose.  I admire a man who is honest - no lying or being sneaky unless your planning a fabulous vacation... lol!    Many people men/women are very self absorbed - it's all about them -- them --them.  There is no I in TEAM.   Another NO-NO is the men who expect the wife to take on a mother role and do everything as their mother did.  It's a two way street so couples need to do for each other.

Quote from: remainingfaithful on Fri Jan 02, 2009 - 16:23:13
I once heard that a relationship is like a plant - you got to keep watering the plant and never stop because if you do the plant dies - just like the relationship. 

That's funny.  I said just last week that women need attention like plants need water. 

On the topic, not everybody likes/needs the same things. 

I guess there are some things that are universal.  For instance, all women hate playing second fiddle to a guy's mommy, and all men hate a woman who constantly reminds them of their appointments and obligations.

But I think one of the great parts of relationships is FIGURING OUT WHAT the other person likes (and dislikes).  So pay attention!

  Wow remainingfaithful...that's just how I would be if I had a girlfriend/wife.  Creepy.  I guess there aren't too many guys like that nowadays.  I guess there is too much secularism going around in the media for men to act that way.  That, and the guys that do fit all/most of your description get picked on (like me, but not enough for me to hate myself). 

I know what girls like in the relationship, but I need to know how to start a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship with a girl and how to get her attracted to me.  I guess I should wait a couple of years until college, but I have a feeling that a girl that's good for me is coming my way soon.  I just have to trust in God.  So, girls, what would you like a guy that you already know but you don't hang out with to do for you to get you attracted to him (considering you got that lol).

Quote from: wolflet7 on Fri Jan 02, 2009 - 23:09:38

I know what girls like in the relationship, but I need to know how to start a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship with a girl and how to get her attracted to me.  ...
So, girls, what would you like a guy that you already know but you don't hang out with to do for you to get you attracted to him (considering you got that lol).

I think attraction happens naturally, there is nothing that a particular guy can do to "get me" attracted to him, if I'm not already.  Although, I think that it can get a girl's attention if the guy pays special attention to her, asks her how she's doing, pays her a nice compliment, is polite to her, and asks her out.  It makes it pretty clear that the guy is interested if he actually asks for her number or asks her out.  But, if the girl is not interested, there is very little the guy can do to change that.  I would suggest not even trying, because there is never going to be that chemistry that is so important to the relationship.  You can't fake chemistry.  I have tried in the past.  It doesn't work.  For ex. there have been really nice guys who I have been friends with, who liked me.  I thought I owed it to see if there was something there, and nine times out of ten, if you think there isn't something there, then there probably isn't!!!  It is unfortunate, but that is the way it is. 

This (older) guy from my church just approached me today and told me that he had something for me on Christmas Eve.  (I was at a different church and not at our Christmas Eve service).  I said, "what, a card?"  He said yeah, and looked down, and said, "but I wrote something special in it"...and then he starts telling me how much he likes me, how special he felt when I reached out to shake his hand, that he was actually touching my hand, and that he was so happy to hear from someone else that I was praying for a husband(boy am I sorry I told anyone that).  Now, my problem is this..how do I politely tell this guy that I am not interested.  He is too old for me, and frankly this is the second older guy from my church that has hit on me and I'm sick of it!!!  What do they think that some younger woman would actually be interested in them?  Usually not to likely.  Not to insult any older men here, but this particular guy hitting on me who is twice my age is ridiculous!!!          I like the approach of this other guy in church, who simply gave me his number and left it at that.  Discreetly letting me know he was interested but not pushing anything.  He has not bothered me since, not so much as a word or annoying pestering.  And, perhaps partially because of his approach, I am thinking about calling him.  Mind you, he is younger than the other guy.  (ok.  I know I am going to get some people yelling at me for dissing older guys.  I'm sorry)    Well.  That's about it. Any input?

Quote from: kristinaf on Sun Jan 04, 2009 - 15:18:28
What do they think that some younger woman would actually be interested in them? 

Maybe they're rich.

Wow kristinaf, that told me a LOT about what girls like in a guy.  So, they already have to like me if some chemistry is going to happen?  Well, all the junior guys in my High School Youth Group are testosterone filled and flirt all the time with the other girls (mostly the senior girls).  I hate that, it's like the only reason they go is to flirt with the girls.  Once I'm a senior and the juniors now are out of here, I might be getting some dates.  My brother didn't get a girlfriend (from my knowledge) until he was a junior in high school and neither did my uncles, but my uncles have married great women, aka my aunts, and a lot of people in the Youth Group miss my brother a lot.  I guess it's a matter of how long I'm in the Youth Group until I finally start making some chemistry with the girls there.  I do have a feeling though that I will meet a lot of girls that are good matches for me in college, but that's UNTIL college.  I don't want to wait but I might have to! 

Wow, a guy twice your age huh?  That must be creepy.  Unfortunately, for some guys, you're going to have to get tough and flat out say, "No!".  Of course, they are going to be pleading, but what happens if you feel sorry for them and they manipulate you some how?  Trust me, some guys are really assertive and will not give up.  If need be, call the cops, even if it is at church.  Get as far away from him next time AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!  There is always the women's restroom in the church that he can't enter or if he does, then he will really be in trouble or get slapped a bunch of times lol. 

I would call that guy and do what I told you above.  Do it soon or make up your mind because he might see if another girl is interested if you don't make a move fast!

Wolflet your problem is that your heart is in the wrong place.  Instead you should forget about all the Junior boys and your problems with finding a mate.  Have some trust in Jesus Christ!  God has someone special for you but you need to focus your heart on him first.  Never allow girls or singleness to interfere with your relationship with God.  I know it's hard because the world tells you that relationships are so important and that you're a loser if you don't have a girlfriend in highschool.  But since when do we as Christians care what the world says??  Your relationship with God is more important. 

God can teach you the qualities you need to be compatible with any human being.  The closer your relationship with God the better your relationship with humanity.  That's how Gods love works!

Stick it out my friend.  Set your heart on God and pray that he will show you the right person.  Have patience, it may not be the right time for a girlfriend yet.

Wow, that was some pretty good stuff HonoredbyGod.  I can feel that Satan is strong at work with this fight between my love for God and for girls.  He wants me to love girls and not in the right way, to turn my heart away from God.  I think Satan is mainly doing this because I want to be a pastor when I grow up and he wants me to not focus on God and the Bible.  I've made it more than 14 years without a wife and I feel that I can at least make it 14 more years.  Thanks for the help!