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I knew a couple, who are now divorced, where for years the man did all of the earning and providing financially until the wife, when the children were in their late teens, decided that she wanted to go back to work.
Even though she was working full time she still expected her husband to pay all the bills and provide for them all financially as she said that her money was for her.
To me this seemed slightly unfair, as basically she was saying "your money is ours , but my money is mine" Does that sound strange to you?
They had a joint account for all of his earnings but she had her own account for all of HER earnings which he could not touch.

Basically she used her money for facials, expensive face creams lots of clothes,and other such things, and the rest she saved up and by the time she divorced him after she met someone else, she has saved several thouand pounds(which she kept).
Her then husband is a really good natured man and let her do all of this but to me it was totally unfair. If you are both working, you should both have equal access to each others money and if one is allowed to keep some money than so should the other. Of course he wasnt allowed to have his own account as according to her. HE was the provider and not HER, even though she chose to go to work and didnt need to financially.

I know for me, all of my husbands and my money it joint and we always have a joint account and neither would ever think of the money that we earn as 'mine' or 'his/hers'

What you describe is probably too much of the norm.

Something along those same lines happened to a friend of mine at church.  He got married, they had three kids, she dumps him for a guy who makes a lot more money, demands to claim the kids as dependents on the taxes but sees to it every red cent spent on the kids comes out of my friend's pocket.

Her brother is a bum, too.

Quote from: Mere Nick on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:04:40
What you describe is probably too much of the norm.

Something along those same lines happened to a friend of mine at church.  He got married, they had three kids, she dumps him for a guy who makes a lot more money, demands to claim the kids as dependents on the taxes but sees to it every red cent spent on the kids comes out of my friend's pocket.

Her brother is a bum, too.

Well this lady in question didnt marry the other guy (he never asked her)so is now alone, so only has her earnings to live on now plus what her two adult sons give her as they both work, but it was the financial arrangement that I was thinking of.

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:14:46

Quote from: Mere Nick on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:04:40
What you describe is probably too much of the norm.

Something along those same lines happened to a friend of mine at church.  He got married, they had three kids, she dumps him for a guy who makes a lot more money, demands to claim the kids as dependents on the taxes but sees to it every red cent spent on the kids comes out of my friend's pocket.

Her brother is a bum, too.

Well this lady in question didnt marry the other guy (he never asked her)so is now alone, so only has her earnings to live on now plus what her two adult sons give her as they both work, but it was the financial arrangement that I was thinking of.

I'm surprised she isn't still hitting up the husband she dumped.

Quote from: Mere Nick on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:30:57

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:14:46

Quote from: Mere Nick on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:04:40
What you describe is probably too much of the norm.

Something along those same lines happened to a friend of mine at church.  He got married, they had three kids, she dumps him for a guy who makes a lot more money, demands to claim the kids as dependents on the taxes but sees to it every red cent spent on the kids comes out of my friend's pocket.

Her brother is a bum, too.

Well this lady in question didnt marry the other guy (he never asked her)so is now alone, so only has her earnings to live on now plus what her two adult sons give her as they both work, but it was the financial arrangement that I was thinking of.

I'm surprised she isn't still hitting up the husband she dumped.

Nah, they are well and truly divorced, and besides she got the house and he got nothing (he is far to easy going, and let her have it as he didnt think God would want him to go to court over it, she on the other hand had no such scruples)

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:36:10
Nah, they are well and truly divorced, and besides she got the house and he got nothing (he is far to easy going, and let her have it as he didnt think God would want him to go to court over it, she on the other hand had no such scruples)

It sounds like he's acting very merciful towards her.  And Jesus said "Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy."  I'd commend the guy for acting towards his wife in mercy and grace.  God will take care of him.

Quote from: Sherman Nobles on Tue Jan 06, 2009 - 11:51:04

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:36:10
Nah, they are well and truly divorced, and besides she got the house and he got nothing (he is far to easy going, and let her have it as he didnt think God would want him to go to court over it, she on the other hand had no such scruples)

It sounds like he's acting very merciful towards her.  And Jesus said "Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy."  I'd commend the guy for acting towards his wife in mercy and grace.  God will take care of him.

Thank you sherman, and you are right, he is a great guy. He paid ALL of her bills up to the day of the divorce even though he wasnt living there and even though she was having an affair. Now how many men would do that?
He is a very godly and moral man and I should know as I am married to him now! God is taking care of him as you said and blessing him. We have a brilliant marriage of three years and he is an excellent step father to my adult kids. They really like him and get on really well with him.We are so blessed.

Quote from: Sherman Nobles on Tue Jan 06, 2009 - 11:51:04

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:36:10
Nah, they are well and truly divorced, and besides she got the house and he got nothing (he is far to easy going, and let her have it as he didnt think God would want him to go to court over it, she on the other hand had no such scruples)

It sounds like he's acting very merciful towards her.  And Jesus said "Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy."  I'd commend the guy for acting towards his wife in mercy and grace.  God will take care of him.

What a selfless man, his fruit is evident. He has a bigger house waiting for him

Quote from: fanuvmxpx on Tue Jan 06, 2009 - 13:59:09

Quote from: Sherman Nobles on Tue Jan 06, 2009 - 11:51:04

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 22:36:10
Nah, they are well and truly divorced, and besides she got the house and he got nothing (he is far to easy going, and let her have it as he didnt think God would want him to go to court over it, she on the other hand had no such scruples)

It sounds like he's acting very merciful towards her.  And Jesus said "Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy."  I'd commend the guy for acting towards his wife in mercy and grace.  God will take care of him.

What a selfless man, his fruit is evident. He has a bigger house waiting for him

Yes he is selfless. He is also the most laid back patient man I have ever met.Goodness knows why his wife divorced him but that is her problem, but she will never find a better man than he is. As for me, I love being his wife, it is a pleasure, and we are both very easy to please which makes life so much easier.
At the time it annoyed me that he was letting her get everything and he got nothing and he wasnt standing up for himself, but i know that it really doesnt matter cos she has got her reward already and he has his to come. (plus God is blessing him now in so many ways)
I still wonder what people think about the joint money thing and her attitude to her earnings, and whether a couple should have a joint account. 

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 21:55:38
I knew a couple, who are now divorced, where for years the man did all of the earning and providing financially until the wife, when the children were in their late teens, decided that she wanted to go back to work.
Even though she was working full time she still expected her husband to pay all the bills and provide for them all financially as she said that her money was for her.
To me this seemed slightly unfair, as basically she was saying "your money is ours , but my money is mine" Does that sound strange to you?
They had a joint account for all of his earnings but she had her own account for all of HER earnings which he could not touch.

Basically she used her money for facials, expensive face creams lots of clothes,and other such things, and the rest she saved up and by the time she divorced him after she met someone else, she has saved several thouand pounds(which she kept).
Her then husband is a really good natured man and let her do all of this but to me it was totally unfair. If you are both working, you should both have equal access to each others money and if one is allowed to keep some money than so should the other. Of course he wasnt allowed to have his own account as according to her. HE was the provider and not HER, even though she chose to go to work and didnt need to financially.

I know for me, all of my husbands and my money it joint and we always have a joint account and neither would ever think of the money that we earn as 'mine' or 'his/hers'

I agree with you, absolutely.  It sounds like that woman was very selfish and she was probably planning on leaving as soon as she saved up enough money.  Pretty rotten.

But our philosophy is everything goes into one pot, so to speak.  What's his is mine, and what's mine is his, totally.

Quote from: chosenone on Tue Jan 06, 2009 - 14:36:50
I still wonder what people think about the joint money thing and her attitude to her earnings, and whether a couple should have a joint account. 

Considering we are one flesh, I would hope the 'typical' scenario is one account. Now, that's not to say that husband or wife could be frantic spenders...maybe separate accounts could be warranted. Considering both sexes are equal in the eyes of the Lord, I don't find it fair that the man gets all the liabilities and the woman gets a cash pool (going by your given example). There's not much "we" in "this is my money"

Quote from: His Princess on Tue Jan 06, 2009 - 14:55:25

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Jan 05, 2009 - 21:55:38
I knew a couple, who are now divorced, where for years the man did all of the earning and providing financially until the wife, when the children were in their late teens, decided that she wanted to go back to work.
Even though she was working full time she still expected her husband to pay all the bills and provide for them all financially as she said that her money was for her.
To me this seemed slightly unfair, as basically she was saying "your money is ours , but my money is mine" Does that sound strange to you?
They had a joint account for all of his earnings but she had her own account for all of HER earnings which he could not touch.

Basically she used her money for facials, expensive face creams lots of clothes,and other such things, and the rest she saved up and by the time she divorced him after she met someone else, she has saved several thouand pounds(which she kept).
Her then husband is a really good natured man and let her do all of this but to me it was totally unfair. If you are both working, you should both have equal access to each others money and if one is allowed to keep some money than so should the other. Of course he wasnt allowed to have his own account as according to her. HE was the provider and not HER, even though she chose to go to work and didnt need to financially.

I know for me, all of my husbands and my money it joint and we always have a joint account and neither would ever think of the money that we earn as 'mine' or 'his/hers'

I agree with you, absolutely.  It sounds like that woman was very selfish and she was probably planning on leaving as soon as she saved up enough money.  Pretty rotten.

But our philosophy is everything goes into one pot, so to speak.  What's his is mine, and what's mine is his, totally.

The same for us. When we married he had little of anything except a car as he had let his wife have it all. I had a small house, which I had moved to after my divorce.I dont consider the house to be 'mine' I consider it as 'ours', and the same with the money, it is ours and not mine or his.