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As a christian I've noticed this trend amongst a % of believers. It's this trend of certainty. It's this trend that you will meet and marry "One" person in the "Future". That you are bound by time and must "Wait" on God. So one day a Christian meets this "One", things are going great but then everything goes south.  We dump them or get dumped.



What now? I guess the problem lies with trying to be certain. It's like we feel abliged to know who we will marry. It's almost as if we're holding God hostage demanding he tell us the who and when or else!



We then feel like failed Christians if we didn't have discernment. I thought that was the "One". What lies ahead for my "Future" now?

I'm done searching and waiting for the "Future". I'm going to read and react to what is happening now. It's evident that we as humans are born when WE'RE born and die when WE die. We have only so much time. Why spend it in "Waiting"?



Why not just live and enjoy life? Why not seek out experience, enjoyment and fulfillment? It's like life's on hold for the "Future".



I recall being in college and talking with a close female friend. We discussed relationships. I shared that God had "Somebody" for me. She said she didn't have that "Gaurantee". I felt bad but time would prove out, she was right. You don't have a "Gaurantee". You just live out each day. Reading and reacting. I can't control the future nor my circumstances. I simply take life as it comes.

Well, if God does not hold your future and or have somebody for you, who does?  Who exactly is left that created marriage and the male and female relationship?

Taking life as it comes?  Isn't that what we all are doing daily?  Even in the LORD?  You are giving up on finding what exactly?  The person God has for you?  So then, if life as it comes, brings a person into your life tomorrow you can love and marry... WHO did that? 

Quote from: kensington on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 00:49:37
Well, if God does not hold your future and or have somebody for you, who does?  Who exactly is left that created marriage and the male and female relationship?

Taking life as it comes?  Isn't that what we all are doing daily?  Even in the LORD?  You are giving up on finding what exactly?  The person God has for you?  So then, if life as it comes, brings a person into your life tomorrow you can love and marry... WHO did that? 

How many people have been married and arranged in marriages throughout history? We Christians act as if "The One" is a one in a million miraculous shot. That we're enslaved to the belief that God either has someone for us or... well he does not. So we're constantly stuck "waiting" for "One" person. I'm not waiting for anything. I'm living my life and whatever happens... happens. 

Quote from: Bob Ross on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 04:55:01

Quote from: kensington on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 00:49:37
Well, if God does not hold your future and or have somebody for you, who does?  Who exactly is left that created marriage and the male and female relationship?

Taking life as it comes?  Isn't that what we all are doing daily?  Even in the LORD?  You are giving up on finding what exactly?  The person God has for you?  So then, if life as it comes, brings a person into your life tomorrow you can love and marry... WHO did that? 

How many people have been married and arranged in marriages throughout history? We Christians act as if "The One" is a one in a million miraculous shot. That we're enslaved to the belief that God either has someone for us or... well he does not. So we're constantly stuck "waiting" for "One" person. I'm not waiting for anything. I'm living my life and whatever happens... happens. 

I am not enslaved to a belief that God may or may not have someone for me. I am not looking. I am just trying live faithfully. 

I think many Christians can testify to the fact that when they stopped searching and looking for that spouse they desired, and began or learned to walk in an intimate relationship with the LORD... they almost stumbled over their spouse to be. 

I'm glad you did not mean you were giving up on God, living chaste, and letting God.  Peace.

Quote from: kensington on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 17:28:30
I think many Christians can testify to the fact that when they stopped searching and looking for that spouse they desired, and began or learned to walk in an intimate relationship with the LORD... they almost stumbled over their spouse to be. 

I'm glad you did not mean you were giving up on God, living chaste, and letting God.  Peace.

I gave up. I'm 46 and feel like I'm too old to marry now.

Quote from: katholikos on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 17:29:27

Quote from: kensington on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 17:28:30
I think many Christians can testify to the fact that when they stopped searching and looking for that spouse they desired, and began or learned to walk in an intimate relationship with the LORD... they almost stumbled over their spouse to be. 

I'm glad you did not mean you were giving up on God, living chaste, and letting God.  Peace.

I gave up. I'm 46 and feel like I'm too old to marry now.

Oh... but you aren't.  Not if that is the desire of your heart.  46... hey you are young! 

Quote from: katholikos on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 17:29:27
I gave up. I'm 46 and feel like I'm too old to marry now.

Don't give up. It's never to late to find your true love. Don't look too hard, but don't give up either. I was 61 when my wife died of cancer after 32 years of marriage. Then, at age 64 I married my current wife. We were introduced by an acquaintance, when I least expected it.

I'm a believer in serendipity -- the most wonderful things that happen to you happen when you least expect them. So relax, enjoy the scenery and one day, poof, there she will be.

Tom M.

Quote from: katholikos on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 17:29:27

Quote from: kensington on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 17:28:30
I think many Christians can testify to the fact that when they stopped searching and looking for that spouse they desired, and began or learned to walk in an intimate relationship with the LORD... they almost stumbled over their spouse to be. 

I'm glad you did not mean you were giving up on God, living chaste, and letting God.  Peace.

I gave up. I'm 46 and feel like I'm too old to marry now.

My auntie married her wonderful husband when she was 60. They had 10 really happy years together before he died. He was a few years older than her. of course kids were out of the question

Quote from: katholikos on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 17:29:27

Quote from: kensington on Mon Jan 19, 2009 - 17:28:30
I think many Christians can testify to the fact that when they stopped searching and looking for that spouse they desired, and began or learned to walk in an intimate relationship with the LORD... they almost stumbled over their spouse to be. 

I'm glad you did not mean you were giving up on God, living chaste, and letting God.  Peace.

I gave up. I'm 46 and feel like I'm too old to marry now.

Also I met and married my wonderful husband when I was 49 and he was 48. We have never looked back.

Waiting on the Lord is a big part of our walk with God. When things don't go well; stop and see what God is trying to show you and teach you. We are so quick to get discouraged when bad things happen and we often miss out on the lessons that God is trying to show us. And whose to say that people who wait on the Lord aren't enjoying life to the fullest? Try waiting for God in praise and thanksgiving rather then think of it as life passing us by.