Christian Forums

Hi everyone,
I have an issue with lust.  I'm concerned about it enough to buy books on the subject (Christian books) and to read my Bible to support what I read.  I've learned that lust (sexual lust, in my case) is a form of idolatry.  Idols have demons behind them, and when I act on lust I am embracing the demon instead of God.

#1  I am a fairly new Christian, I don't know whether I have faith so much that I have a desire to have faith, or to be seen faithful.  Like Esau, I want the blessing but don't have the right heart right now.

#2  So, I have a hard time embracing God with this issue because I do not know Him very well.  I imagine if I knew Him better I would have an easier time choosing to obey Him.

#3  I've listed all the ways things could turn more sour in my life if I continue in sexual immorality.  (By the way, this is really hard to talk about here on this site).  I've listed all the big events that caused shame in my life by acting on the lust.

#4  I've listed all the painful consequences (counting the cost) if I do obey.  Like boredom, not being able to deaden emotional pain with sex. 

#5  The list of painful consequences of counting the cost of following God is a more pleasing list to me than the list of painful consequences of not obeying God.

#6  So, last night I decided I would repent, as sincerely as I knew how, from these issues of lust.  I was eager, telling my pastor that I had made a choice like I did.

#7  Then I fell.  And to be honest, I don't always feel like getting back up. 



I am very sinful.  I don't know anybody as vile as myself.  I know God loves me still, and falling is natural, but not wanting to get back up???  After you've said you'd repent of it??  I wish I had the heart of a true saint.  I desire to find that pleasure in a way that glorifies God, that is in a marriage.  I want to embrace God, and not idolatry.  He has the way mapped out for me, to do good to me.  I just can't get my head around believing and trusting Him with all my heart, mind, and soul.  I sure desire to, and I'm willing to take steps to get there, but I do feel like a failure.

Any takers?


Doug

Hi Doug,

First off, God bless you for fighting the spiritual battle. It's tough isn't it? I can recommend a great book for encouragement, its called "Every Man's Battle". It helped me a lot as lust for me, and for many, is my struggle as well. Satan will always attack you where your weakest.

The book defines man's sex drive, does a good job differentiating between 'good attraction' and 'bad attraction' and also gives you some help dealing with bad attraction. Different techniques like "eye-bouncing" if you see someone who might cause you to stumble.

I will certainly pray for you and would appreciate your prayers as well. You have one brother to identify with and who you can know is praying for you. If you have anything specific that you are struggling with, and you'd like to send me a private message, I would be happy to share how God has helped me in this area.

God bless,

-Steve

You could become a unic and not have to worry about it.

Quote from: rppearso on Tue May 19, 2009 - 14:36:54
You could become a unic and not have to worry about it.

your answer is up to your usual 'helpful' standard. Maybe you should become one as well, it may just save you.

Quote from: rppearso on Tue May 19, 2009 - 14:36:54
You could become a unic and not have to worry about it.

Reported to Mods again. I don't expect to see you very much longer. You do nothing but stumble people rppearso, go join your father, the devil, on another forum.

My post was factual.

Quote from: fanuvmxpx on Tue May 19, 2009 - 14:45:20

Quote from: rppearso on Tue May 19, 2009 - 14:36:54
You could become a unic and not have to worry about it.

Reported to Mods again. I don't expect to see you very much longer. You do nothing but stumble people rppearso, go join your father, the devil, on another forum.

Quote from: rppearso on Tue May 19, 2009 - 15:03:18
My post was factual.

Then go join your factual devil

Quote from: rppearso on Tue May 19, 2009 - 14:36:54
You could become a unic and not have to worry about it.

rppearso, I pray for you because you don't realize that even eunochs (sp??) can lust after idols in their hearts.  I don't take your response seriously because you are wrong.

What I do appreciate is those brothers who support me by letting me communicate with them.  God wired me for sexual pleasure.  When I didn't know God, I became an addict.  Now that I know Him, as best I can, I pray for the ability to please Him with my sex life.  I don't think God created me for celibacy, because I want to love (agape love) a woman someday.

Doug

Well then you should probably not listen to me because you will not like my advice (even though its biblical) and you can listen to other on here.  The bible states that if you burn with passion you are to marry, to me that does not mean someday that means soon, but that is just my opinion at the same time you want to make sure you are compatable whatever that means for you to be happy in a relationship.

Quote from: dougk1971 on Tue May 19, 2009 - 16:05:27

Quote from: rppearso on Tue May 19, 2009 - 14:36:54
You could become a unic and not have to worry about it.

rppearso, I pray for you because you don't realize that even eunochs (sp??) can lust after idols in their hearts.  I don't take your response seriously because you are wrong.

What I do appreciate is those brothers who support me by letting me communicate with them.  God wired me for sexual pleasure.  When I didn't know God, I became an addict.  Now that I know Him, as best I can, I pray for the ability to please Him with my sex life.  I don't think God created me for celibacy, because I want to love (agape love) a woman someday.

Doug

Quote from: rppearso on Tue May 19, 2009 - 17:44:18
Well then you should probably not listen to me because you will not like my advice (even though its biblical) and you can listen to other on here.  The bible states that if you burn with passion you are to marry, to me that does not mean someday that means soon, but that is just my opinion at the same time you want to make sure you are compatable whatever that means for you to be happy in a relationship.

Quote from: dougk1971 on Tue May 19, 2009 - 16:05:27

Quote from: rppearso on Tue May 19, 2009 - 14:36:54
You could become a unic and not have to worry about it.

rppearso, I pray for you because you don't realize that even eunochs (sp??) can lust after idols in their hearts.  I don't take your response seriously because you are wrong.

What I do appreciate is those brothers who support me by letting me communicate with them.  God wired me for sexual pleasure.  When I didn't know God, I became an addict.  Now that I know Him, as best I can, I pray for the ability to please Him with my sex life.  I don't think God created me for celibacy, because I want to love (agape love) a woman someday.

Doug

We can only marry when God shows us the person that he has for us. Many people jump the gun and marry the wrong person and then.......disaster. Wait for Gods choice for you. My son had to wait a long time, many years, but he has now got the best girlfriend (and futrue wife) that he could have had. She is a lovely Christian girl and just right for him.

I have lived a life full of lust and disgust. I have grown up in the age of TV. I have seen so many images of "sexy." I could say attractive. I have seen enough commercials with anything and everything. I have been tempted on many occasions. However, I have also been an "observer." I posted this on a previous thread somewhere. I remember working in a place in the 70's where I worked around "dirty old men." I was a teenager and this was my first job. I helped clean up this shop. I emptied ashtrays in places where magazines were lying around. They looked enticing. If you spent any amount of time around these men it would become very obvious about their behavior. They told sexist jokes. I laughed at some and then would not always feel the greatest. The "b" word was common to their vocabulary.

I lived in two different worlds. I went to worship services Sunday and Wednesday. In worship there was no stench of tobacco (except for a few who smoked outside and had it on their clothes) Moreover, there was no vulgarity and no sexist jokes. One environment degrades the spirit and the other builds the spirit.

I have felt this tension for years for I am imperfect and sinful. I have weak moments but I always have "reminders." It does not take long before I am reminded of what I experienced as a teenager. I listen to the news and read the newspaper. So many are falling to lust. Some are men in churches.

God knows men struggle with lust. He gives commands but He also gives grace. Being in control of lust is resigning the heart to God. God is in control and we are not. Men who think they are the ones in control end up falling. Controlling lust comes in humbling the heart to God. Thank you Doug for your post.

Now that I'm thinking about it,    I have to wonder if "lust" leading to shame is different than "burning with passion" for a wife.  What if by burning with passion for a wife, we are tempted to lust, then become an addict of lust?  I'm not sure where I am.  All I know is that looking at sexy images brings me a conviction from the Holy Spirit to redirect my attention upward to Him instead.  I need to pray about all this.

Thanks to EVERYBODY'S responses.

Doug

Having a healthy sex drive and seeking a wife is not wrong, even looking at a woman you are courting as sexually attractive is not wrong, read the song of soloman.

Lust - To have an intense or obsessive desire, especially one that is sexual.  I guess where you draw the line as to what is obsessive is up to you, but if its ruining your life its probably an obession (ie loss of job, inability to focus at school etc).  The chruch has twisted definitions so much over the last who knows how many years the only way to reconsile these issues is with yourself, a bible and God, either that or you can choose to be indoctrinated into the chruches definition of things, the choise is yours.  You will never reconsile these issues if you talk to people that contradict themselves.

Quote from: dougk1971 on Tue May 19, 2009 - 20:12:54
Now that I'm thinking about it,    I have to wonder if "lust" leading to shame is different than "burning with passion" for a wife.  What if by burning with passion for a wife, we are tempted to lust, then become an addict of lust?  I'm not sure where I am.  All I know is that looking at sexy images brings me a conviction from the Holy Spirit to redirect my attention upward to Him instead.  I need to pray about all this.

Thanks to EVERYBODY'S responses.

Doug

Doug,

I hear ya...everyone who is single and trying to live a godly life has problems with lust.  That is why I have turned to my second choice of idolatry, in seeking out Christian dating sites to try to find a suitable husband.  (I am just joking, mostly, about the idolatry). 

However, I must say that lust can be idolatry.  I am a somewhat new Christian, myself.  I have been "saved" for about 2 years, and when I was first coming to the Lord, or rather being drawn by Him, I was in some serious fornication.  I was in a relationship that was completely based on lust, there was very little "relationship"/talking/hanging out...it was like this:  we would meet up once a week and "do our thing" and then not see eachother for a week.  That , of course, was the tail end of the relationship and not how things began at all.  We started out sweet and lovey-dovey, and talked about marriage, but eventually things progressed to a breakup and then a "relationship" that was really just meeting up to have sex.  It was during this time in my life that God began drawing me to Him.  I neglected to mention that during this whole time of this "relationship", I was emotionally devastated and crying all the time and acting out and getting mad at my "partner" and yelling at him all the time.  It was awful.  I was so hurt by how I was being treated (or letting myself be treated).  I desperately needed God.  And God knew it and brought me to Him. 

I started reading my bible, in particular a certain passage that spoke to me at that time was Isaiah 54, where it talks about "a woman forsaken" and neglected and "tossed about with tempest and not comforted" and "forsaken like a wife in her youth" .  Those verses really spoke to me, and I felt like God really pointed them out to me and said "Daughter, I understand what you have been going thru, and I am here for you". 

Fast-forward...I left that ungodly relationship and have been mostly free from any kind of illicit relationship (sex outside of marriage) for a year now.  I had one slip up last May where I decided that "forget this" the Christian walk is too hard and I want a boyfriend!!!  And I slipped up and I really regret that move.  I had one "encounter" (not sex though) in July of last year, but other than that, I have really tried hard (perhaps not hard enough) to keep to my vow to keep away from any sexual relationship until I am married.  I really feel like this is something God has called me to do.  And every single person who is a Christian. 

So what's my point?  I don't know, just that I understand what every single Christian person is going thru when it comes to the temptation of lust, and I really wanted to tell my story because, at 31 years of age, I have been there, done that, and I want the younger Christians to know that God really DOES want us to remain chaste and pure.  This IS the right thing to do, we WILL have a reward in Heaven, and the wait WON'T be longer than we can tolerate.  Hopefully! 

I say that, and as I say that, I'm thinking to myself.  Hurry up God, I want a man!  Ugh.  Flesh.  So. Annoying. 

Sorry for the long post, hope that helps!  Love, Kristina

Quote from: fanuvmxpx on Tue May 19, 2009 - 12:28:37
Hi Doug,

First off, God bless you for fighting the spiritual battle. It's tough isn't it? I can recommend a great book for encouragement, its called "Every Man's Battle". It helped me a lot as lust for me, and for many, is my struggle as well. Satan will always attack you where your weakest.

EXCELLENT BOOK!!!!  I read the "Young Man's" edition, since I'm a "young man" lol. 

Doug, I don't like getting back up either.  It's hard sometimes that I just masturbate my troubles away.  Just keep strong and find something to do OTHER than dwell on sexual images.  Definitely read the book mentioned above, it helps out tremendously!

Hey I'm a kinda new Christian too and i wanna say that lust was a serious problem for me too. I would pray about it every day. I did everything i could to redirect my attention when explicit content popped up in my head. Yeah its friggn hard when you turn on the TV and all use see images of sex being fed to you... Just realize how much your dirty mind is hurting your relationship with God, but also know that God  sees your trouble and your attempts to better yourself :]. Just hang in there! i did and now Lust is proably the least of my worries.