Christian Forums

Am I the only one who surrounds himself with Christians who continually engage in all kinds of sexual hypocrisy?  They watch television and movies (not porn!) filled with sexual scenes and language.  They engage in discussions full of sexual innuendo.  They are "addicted" to the latest cheating and divorce gossip (Facebook can be a real soap opera). 

I am married.  All of the people to which I'm referring are married.  I believe they are Christians and they are attempting to have a relationship with God.  It just seems as though what they are passing off as mature, healthy attitudes towards sex are really just ways to excite themselves.

Maybe it's just me.  I would appreciate any comments.

God created sex to be within marriage only (therefore, it is good), not to be advertised to everyone else for sport and amusement.

If I were married and I found out that my husband did any of what you mentioned in your OP, I'd find that weird and he and I would definatly have a talk about it so that it doesn't happen anymore. And if he wouldn't be willing to quit then we'd have to separate. Why risk bringing that mess into your marriage and hinder/ruin it from what God originally designed it to be, know what I mean?

Thanks for the post.  It's not guys and girls thing.  They ("we") are doing these things as couples.  Going to the movies as friends, sitting at Starbucks, etc.

No that isnt in my experience at all. Neither my husbad nor I watch anything with sexual scenes or swearing and we also dont talk about sex or other peoples affairs with other people. None of my friends do this either.
I think you may need to change friends, they dont sound very godly at all.

The fact is that many Christians are living lives that are so much like the world that they don't seem to be any different.  It's sad, but true.  But I try to give the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.

Are these folks fairly new Christians?  Sometimes it takes time for folks to move away from the things of the world and move closer to God.  It's a matter of growing in knowledge and maturity and having a clear understanding of how God desires for us to live our lives.

Maybe they just don't realize how much of an affect these things have on them and their walk in holiness. and they need some godly guidance and direction in their lives.  

Maybe you have been shown this for a reason?  

God Bless.

I agree with "chosenone" in that you should change your friends, and maybe also your church. Georgia is a State where Holiness chruches are everywhere, so finding people to  fellowship with who are not falling into sin shouldn't be a problem. 

Thank you all for the replies.  I would not consider them young Christians.  However, I would consider them young, mid 30's.  For example, my wife and I recently went out with our pastor and his wife.  We went to dinner and then to see the movie Couples Retreat.  The following Sunday I heard my my wife and the pastors wife telling some of our other friends how it was a cute movie and it's message was to stay married.  

I will acknowledge that all of the couples did wind up re-committing to thier marriages.  However I don't think wrapping a fairly accepted truth around an 1.5 hours of naked people is the way to do it.

I feel like I'm ready to move Pennsylvania and give up electricity while my wife and friends are headed to the bar.  

Is there a happy medium?

So are you saying that you and your wife and the pastor and his wife went to see a film with naked people and sex in it?And then your wife and the pastors wife described it to others as 'cute'? Sorry  may have got this wrong, but if  I have  then something is VERY wrong. Why did you agree to go?
many years ago my husbands wife wanted to go and see a film with a sex scene in it. He said that he didnt want her to go (he is VERY careful about what he watches) but not only did she go but she took her teenage son with her.(who was under age for the film)It caused no end of problems as she came back wanting to have this amazing sex and relationship as portrayed in the film, (which of course was acted and not real)and this caused her to become discontent with real life and real marriage and eventaully she met another man and divorced him.(The other man wasnt a hollywood actor either so he didnt last long)

I dont think for Christians there is a happy medium. Sex is good and godly but not for us to watch on films or tv or anywhere else. Not for geneal discussion either for gossip or entainment. Must admit I have never met any Christians like you describe.

Agreed.  I should have taken a stand.

It just seems like everyone draws this line in a different spot.  Another example... most of us attended a youth function after a Friday night football game last week.  One of our friends has a daughter who is a cheerleader.  I am amazed at their "uniforms".  If you put "Smalltown High School" on the front they are a cheerleader.  Take the words off and it's an extremely short skirt that none of my friends would let their daughters be caught dead in.

Why does it seem like I'm the only person this bothers??

Quote from: trying2grow on Thu Oct 29, 2009 - 15:48:42
Agreed.  I should have taken a stand.

It just seems like everyone draws this line in a different spot.  Another example... most of us attended a youth function after a Friday night football game last week.  One of our friends has a daughter who is a cheerleader.  I am amazed at their "uniforms".  If you put "Smalltown High School" on the front they are a cheerleader.  Take the words off and it's an extremely short skirt that none of my friends would let their daughters be caught dead in.

Why does it seem like I'm the only person this bothers??

You arent the only person this bothers, but you may be the only one who you know who bothers. We left our last church because of the way some of the women dressed.
I am frankly very concerned that a pastor would see a film like that. If my pastor did I would probably leave that church asap.What would happen if you spoke to your wife and friends about how uncomfortable this all makes you feel and that it isnt godly?
I REALLY think you need to pray about finding a more godly church and more godly friends..The Bible is very clear on being careful about who we spend time with and who we listen to.

You may have to make a firm stand and face misunderstanding from others, but is it better to please them or God?. I respect my husband very highly for the way that he refuses to watch things that have any scantily clad women in them or sex scenes. He even closes his eyes when adverts come on that he feels he shouldnt be seeing..
If you follow your convictions then that may not be easy but that is the right thing to do.

Quote from: trying2grow on Thu Oct 29, 2009 - 13:58:31
Am I the only one who surrounds himself with Christians who continually engage in all kinds of sexual hypocrisy?  They watch television and movies (not porn!) filled with sexual scenes and language.  They engage in discussions full of sexual innuendo.  They are "addicted" to the latest cheating and divorce gossip (Facebook can be a real soap opera). 

I am married.  All of the people to which I'm referring are married.  I believe they are Christians and they are attempting to have a relationship with God.  It just seems as though what they are passing off as mature, healthy attitudes towards sex are really just ways to excite themselves.

Maybe it's just me.  I would appreciate any comments.

I don't think you are the only one.  It never ceases to amaze me what people will fill their minds with, thinking that as long as they don't imitate what they see then there is no harm.

It is harmful, but trying to get them to quit is often more difficult than getting a drunk to give up the booze.  And by the time they realize the harm, if they ever do, the marital problems are massive.

Be in the world but not of it..

Whatever....

I haven't the foggiest clue as to what the op is about in this one...

My wife and I have sex...big deal...it isn't the end all be all of everything...there are a lot more important things in this world than sex...and as far as television...I don't watch and neither does my wife.

Quote from: trying2grow on Thu Oct 29, 2009 - 15:29:48
Thank you all for the replies.  I would not consider them young Christians.  However, I would consider them young, mid 30's.  For example, my wife and I recently went out with our pastor and his wife.  We went to dinner and then to see the movie Couples Retreat.  The following Sunday I heard my my wife and the pastors wife telling some of our other friends how it was a cute movie and it's message was to stay married.  

I will acknowledge that all of the couples did wind up re-committing to thier marriages.  However I don't think wrapping a fairly accepted truth around an 1.5 hours of naked people is the way to do it.

I feel like I'm ready to move Pennsylvania and give up electricity while my wife and friends are headed to the bar.  

Is there a happy medium?

trying2grow,

This is a situation where moving to a Holiness church that is Christmatic or Penticosal would solve the problem.  That would be the happy medium.  I do think it's a bit late, but suggest it to your wife.  You must get your wife squared-away even if you have to move to Pennsylvana and give up electricity.  If she ever wants to leave, let her go and find a conservitive gal in a Holiness Church.

There are many that profess, but by their actions deny Him, showing their true heart, no matter what they say to the contrary.  Actions speak louder than words, they say.

Find new friends or be used of God to actively confront and build the ones you have.  If they don't want to change, leave them and go to others that actually want God.

"Do you not know that the love of the world is war with God?"  Pretty simple, really.

This is a huge problem in our society today.  I am amazed at some of the movies and TV shows my Christian friends let their children watch. 

Do you have any Godly friends who can pray and give support you and your wife?

It's not just sex on TV.

Violence fills our minds in what we watch and rent.

Sorcery is not less rampant.

Lying.

Cheating.

Coarse jesting.

Self gratification.

Foul language.

Ungodly morals.

It's just apalling how much stuff that is totally hated by God that we fill our eyes and minds with, and actually enjoy and partake of. 

And yet we say that we know Him and love Him, and He is happy with us.

It's amazing.

Well did Isaiah speak of this people.

"Repent, lest I come against you and remove you..." says the Lord of Hosts.  His name is Jealous!

Quote from: chosenone on Thu Oct 29, 2009 - 14:51:34
No that isnt in my experience at all.  None of my friends do this either.
I think you may need to change friends, they dont sound very godly at all.

As above

Also

QuoteIt just seems like everyone draws this line in a different spot.  Another example... most of us attended a youth function after a Friday night football game last week.  One of our friends has a daughter who is a cheerleader.  I am amazed at their "uniforms".  If you put "Smalltown High School" on the front they are a cheerleader.  Take the words off and it's an extremely short skirt that none of my friends would let their daughters be caught dead in.

Why does it seem like I'm the only person this bothers??

It bothers me too. How anyone can excuse cheerleading as christian, considering the uniform amazes me. Even christian colleges have cheerleaders. (Not all, but enough to suprise me.) How can any female out there on the field or watching in any capacity be under any illusions about what the guys are thinking when they watch the girls jumping about in their miniskirts?
It isn't rocket science. So why do so many turn a blind eye or write it off as a 'healthy' all american activity?

The old cheerleading outfits of the 50's were actually pretty cute. But they just got shorter and shorter until very little was left to anyones imagination at the end of it all. That doesn't 'inspire' the guys performance in a constructive way any more then draping a girl in a bikini over a sportscar to imply that he's a stud if he buys it. (IMO)
It's sexual exploitation and manipulation. 'You're a hero, and heres our a** to prove it.' Oh and here's our stomach and our chest in a close fitting t-shirt if you didn't get a good view of our panties as we were cheering.

That's just an advertisment for being a bimbo, not incentive to play well. In fact the only 'incentive' that I can really understand as a general message from the above is the reward of sex from some willing female if the guy proves himself on the sportsfield.

Be the star linebacker and you can get it, not just watch it.



PS. The bible tells us in proverbs to not be fooled because bad company corrupts good morals. If people have lower standards around us and we just turn a blind eye to it to fit in, it can start to drag us down over time. It's not worth it. Someone trying to get out of bad habits and ways of doing things is different to someone justifying it or trying to. But both can still impact us if we arn't wise.

Quote from: banished on Thu Oct 29, 2009 - 18:13:06

Quote from: trying2grow on Thu Oct 29, 2009 - 15:29:48
Thank you all for the replies.  I would not consider them young Christians.  However, I would consider them young, mid 30's.  For example, my wife and I recently went out with our pastor and his wife.  We went to dinner and then to see the movie Couples Retreat.  The following Sunday I heard my my wife and the pastors wife telling some of our other friends how it was a cute movie and it's message was to stay married.  

I will acknowledge that all of the couples did wind up re-committing to thier marriages.  However I don't think wrapping a fairly accepted truth around an 1.5 hours of naked people is the way to do it.

I feel like I'm ready to move Pennsylvania and give up electricity while my wife and friends are headed to the bar.  

Is there a happy medium?

trying2grow,

This is a situation where moving to a Holiness church that is Christmatic or Penticosal would solve the problem.  That would be the happy medium.  I do think it's a bit late, but suggest it to your wife.  You must get your wife squared-away even if you have to move to Pennsylvana and give up electricity.  If she ever wants to leave, let her go and find a conservitive gal in a Holiness Church.

Then you can go worship the Holy Spirit above all!!!

(Mat 5:13)  You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its savor, with what shall it be salted? It is no longer good for anything, but to be thrown out and to be trodden underfoot by men.

10For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

To those who are saying they do not watch television or movies.  Are you being literal?  No TV, no rented movies, nothing via the internet, etc.?

Quote from: trying2grow on Fri Oct 30, 2009 - 11:50:41
To those who are saying they do not watch television or movies.  Are you being literal?  No TV, no rented movies, nothing via the internet, etc.?

We watch very little on TV, and only the very occasional movie if it hasn't got anything in it that is bad. I may watch something if I am ironing but it is usually animal programmes or one of those house moving ones or a medical/hospital one.

My husband was watching a film the other day that had no sex or bad violence but did have a bit of swearing. When he had finished watching it God said to him so clearly "I didn't enjoy watching that film with you" I though that was so funny, and just like God, but that does make us realise that The Holy Spirit inside us is also watching what we watch and seeing what we see, just as much as if Jesus was sitting next to us in person.Also it makes me realise that God is actually far stricter about what He wants us to see than we are.

He wants us to stay pure in our mind and that means that most TV programmes or films and also many adverts are off limits to us in my opinion.
Maybe we need to ask ourselves if we would watch that programme or film if Jesus was actually sitting there next to us in person.  Tryingtogrow would you have taken Jesus to see that film the other day? Well, you did actually.

Quote from: trying2grow on Fri Oct 30, 2009 - 11:50:41
To those who are saying they do not watch television or movies.  Are you being literal?  No TV, no rented movies, nothing via the internet, etc.?

trying2grow,

All modern televisions have a feature that will allow you to block channels that are not fit for viewing.  Here in the San Francisco area all the channels above 500 show movies that are pure filth.  What we have done is to block everything except the News, weather, history, and Christian Channels.  I am Catholic so I watch EWTN Catholic Television, and my wife is Protestant so she watches TBN, KTLN, and WORD.  There are many more Christian channels, but the ones I listed are part of our standard Cable charges.

Never-never-never rent a video without checking if the Catholic Church, or the denomination that you belong has approved it.  Part of being a Christian is to summit to the authority of the Pastor who God placed over you.  Christians are not to test the waters. 

Quote from: trying2grow on Fri Oct 30, 2009 - 11:50:41
To those who are saying they do not watch television or movies.  Are you being literal?  No TV, no rented movies, nothing via the internet, etc.?

trying2grow,

I'm back again.  I went on the Internet and found the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops rating of theatrical and motion pictures. Here is the URL:

www.usccb.org/movies/

It you would like to know how Satan has controlled the young people, when I do a google search a bogas site comes up instead of Catholic Bishops site.  Only an true-blue Catholic would give you the actual URL.

Quote from: trying2grow on Fri Oct 30, 2009 - 11:50:41
To those who are saying they do not watch television or movies.  Are you being literal?  No TV, no rented movies, nothing via the internet, etc.?

Yes.  Absolutely no desire for it.  Actually, quite the contrary, I am repulsed by most of it.  Don't have a TV.  The scriptures are far, far more interesting and satisfying.  They say that the average person spends hours a day on TV, and often the same amount on videos/movies.  Sad.  Really, really sad.  I guess it's a birds of a feather thing, but my friends and I get around 8 hours a day in the scriptures.  Where your heart is, is where you will spend your time.  There's just no denying that one.

Who has that much time to watch that much tv?

I don't watch much at all.  Think maybe a few hours this week, and that was National Geographic, and I watched a lecture on DVD from a college course I am taking.