Christian Forums

Hello, I'm new but I'm in need of serious advice on how to "fix" my relationship with my long time girlfriend.

We met under weird circumstances. I was a drug dealer and aligned to join a gang when we met and she was a Christian. Over the time we were getting to know each other, God was slowly working in my life, but I hadn't noticed it yet. We started dating and I became a Christian about 6 months later.

Right now, we are both maturing in our relationship with Christ but our personal relationship with each other seems off. I've heard that starting a relationship under the circumstances we did can often have odd effects. We both really love each other but are at a loss in how to fix our relationship.

Both of us have crappy relationship examples from our parents so we don't really know what a "Godly relationship" looks like.

Any help is awesome.
Thank you
God bless
-webhead
ps. if age matters, we are both 18, yes we are young but trust me, it's just a number.

Its hard to say what to do wihtout knowing why you think things are going wrong.
Hi and welcome
Its interesting to note that as you have both grown spiritually, your relationship has got worse and the thing that occured to me is that God used her to bring you to Him and he never intended you to be together permanently.Is that a possibility?
Are you sure that God wants you to stay together permanently?

If you are 100% sure then I would suggest that you go to a mature Christian couple, from your church and speak to them for advice and guidance. Maybe your pastor could suggest someone?

I could be what you'd call a 'straight A' christian girl. Born into the church, christian my whole life etc, yet my closest friends usually seem to be ex-drug addicts/dealers, cons, gang members, alcoholics, occultists, you name it.

But when marriage comes into it, life differences can really start to show up in technicolour. When a person becomes a christian, their pasts don't simply disappear, even after forgiveness and some things can take a long time to walk out of. You might be finding that you simply just don't have as much in common as you thought you had. Which doesn't mean of course that every 'nice' christian girl is going to reject you in the future, but it's important to be as realistic and level headed about any possible marriage. God doesn't just wave a magic wand when two christians get together so that all of their potential problems will disappear. He loves us but he just doesn't do that. Divorce in the church is rife, and I think that one of its chief causes is christians wearing rose coloured glasses in relationships because of God.

I would personally suggest praying about it and making God lord of your relationship. Give him permission to break it up if he doesn't want you together. It can be one of the wisest prayers any christian can make while dating if they mean it.

God bless and will add my prayers for you both.

Sherri



(and I might add, that I hang around most of the friends I mentioned because they have such big callings on their lives and such strong relationships with God.)
Out of the eater came something to eat -
Out of the strong, came something sweet.
Judges 14:14


those who've been forgiven much, love much. fire refines. wars build strength. strength creates warriors, and that's sure as heck something that the church needs.

PS. And that doesn't mean things can't work out with this girl or someone similar. I'm just saying that you need to be cautious, that's all. Use wisdom, because mistakes hurt christians as well as non-christians and only God is perfect.

A relationship is all about being selfless.  Help her in every way you can and ask her to do the same for you.  Sacrifice IS a Christian relationship, whether it's a ministry, friendship or something more.