Christian Forums

When dating along & getting to know someone its always good and fun.

BUT

What do you do when she loves you but you are unsure about loving her?
You have no reason to break up with her or anything like that but you just don't know if you are willing to spend the rest of your life with her.

Be honest and tell her. If you are unsure, then that is a sign that she probably isnt the one for you. It can also depend on how long you have known her, as if it has been for some time and you know each other really well,that is  even more reason to realise that she probably isnt the one. Dont string her along, if she has said she loves you etc, you need to say that you dont feel the same way, or she will keep on hoping.

I would want to get to know someone along with the people who are good for her, so I can see how she is with them and how she needs them so I could make sure she would keep getting this while involved with me, and not be putting too many eggs into one basket with me

If she started to get isolated to me, and making a big deal just out of me, I'd be concerned about this, since I know I'm not very much of a Jesus person (just getting the drift that I need to find out how to love) and surely there are plenty of Christians who are more maturely like Jesus, than we are; so why, ever, would she get all loopy only about me, when she has all the others who are more like Jesus our Groom, than I am? I would think that if we really love Jesus our Groom above all others, then surely if we know people who are more like Jesus, than we are, then we would want and appreciate and enjoy these more Christian people, more than we would love and like each other. "They would be so obviously better for us, than we are for each other."

When in doubt.....get out.  lol

I have always felt that if I didn't get the butterflies around the person, or there wasn't that "x" factor.....then it probably wasn't the right one for me.  Just my .02

JohnDb,

chosenone and others(you were in there too) gave me good advice back in Oct. It turned out to be sound. She was not the one for me. The attraction or the "x" factor, as 777 says, just was not there. It became really apparent after a few months. I was waiting on God for a "go". It never came, praise God.

Hope this helps. I know this is a confusing time.

I would look for more than if you love someone for romance. I mean, if we are Christians, and we know someone who is a Christian sister or brother, I'd think we would care for that person whether the person is one we marry or not. Because in Jesus we all are Family. So, I would start, with anyone, with caring for that person as our own brother or sister. And dearly love each and every other Christian. And in this loving we are in God's own love which is more perfectly beautiful and intimate, than any human marriage or romance can be. So, we have this perfect fulfillment and intimacy with each real Christian, first, if we are relating in God's way of loving (Colossians 3:12-15, Ephesians 5:21, Matthew 5:46, and other scriptures); then see if this brings us to marriage or to being specially and intimately blessed, however God pleases

I like her a lot though...just don't know if I love her.

For me that takes some time to figure out...I ain't so quick.

But last night she said that she loves me...

I wasn't scared or anything...wasn't nervous or overly excited or anything...

Just ain't sure if I am ready to say the same things.

We both have a passion for God that isn't like most people's passion...we are consumed with our love for God. (she does make magic happen)

It is possible that we would make a great team...I just want to be sure though. I am being cautious for some very obvious reasons. So...before I commit to anything or say that I love her...I want to be sure first.

But in the meantime...it is tough not to say it back. 

I think there is nothing wrong in being cautious and wanting to be certain.  Don't say it just to say it.  Only say it when you get to the point where you absolutely mean it.     If need be, be totally up front and honest with her about this.  If she truly loves you then she will be completely understanding and patient.  Wishing you all the best!

I don't think there is such thing as a timeline on love. I think it is also something that grows in time. I did not notice where you stated how long you have known each other. I do know some people who started as friends. Were friends for a long time and it got to the point, where the other person could only see that person as a friend, he loved the other person, but not in a way in which he wanted to make a lifetime commitment to.