Christian Forums

Quote from: Feldew on Mon May 24, 2010 - 13:20:58
Curses. >.>;

I just hate hurting him, and I worry that he's gonna think I came up with this idea out of panicked fear and not wanna support it because of that. I mean, it's hard to say that you're doing something to benefit someone when it hurts them so much. I think at some point--when I'm financially capable and able to get myself a car--I'll have to just say "look, I'm leaving. Not breaking up, just moving to a different place" and either have that cause a schism between us or bring us closer ultimately, hoping he comes to know God in that time. (And what do I do if, in that time, he doesn't? Since that would have been the point of us not living together anymore. That and not sinning, but not sinning is always a priority.)

EDIT: Hey thanks. I'll need all the prayer I can get, especially to find a way to support myself. I haven't been able to do that in years.

This is where my bluntness comes out again:

If he will not support refraining from sexual activity, then you simply need to reject his advances...if he tries to guilt you or make you change your mind then you need to break it off...regardless of what you think his feelings may be.  If he will not respect your body, then he does not respect you and is not worthy of your time.

Bond

(I will still be praying for both of you)

Well I actually just remembered something. Okay, our apartment is in an area that you CAN'T walk to places because you need to go onto the highway like..right out of the residential area. BUT there is an assisted care place like..right next door. I always forget because it blends in sooo well with the surrounding apartment complexes. XD Okay but anyway, that could get me on my feet financially faster. I mean, if God will provide, then He will, but right now He'd have to provide something before I could move. (I could at least stop having sex with him for now, but that's about all I can do until I have the income to double the monthly rent. You know how that goes.)

Sooo. I mean, if I'm doing what I'm supposed to as best I can and I apply for a job there, would God not provide the opportunity to work there? Or provide the money to get my own car so I could work elsewhere? I don't have a lot of friends I could carpool with to get to another job, our schedules are all so different, but there may be other options I can't think of right now. But I mean, if I really am, in my heart, wanting to do things differently, do you think God would provide those things that I need to support myself?

@Bond: Okay. I'm such a people pleaser, you're right that I need to stand up for that. xD;;; I mean... I became a Christian saying that I'd stand up for God against all odds and I have reservations about standing up for MYSELF for God? Obviously I have a lot of growth to do, too. haha

Pray about it, listen to the Lord and do what he says to do or where he leads you to go. Remember, it's always on his own time and not your own.

That sounds funny coming from me because it's something that I am struggling with. The whole it's on his own time and not our own.

**patpat** Everyone has their struggles. And yeah, I'm such a worrier.

I was going to reply with advice, but I will tell you a snipet of the situation I was in not long ago:
I met a guy who I grew to love. When I got with him, it was about the sex and affection and having someone there. It also helped that I had a crush on this guy for the last 10 years (I hadn't been in contact wtih him the whole time but that's how long I knew of him).
Anyway, we got together, and while he knew of God, I don't believe he had a personal relationship. And for that matter, at that time I met him, I didn't either (I've never been far from the church, but I was definitely controlled by sin). But funny thing is, he took me to church (his step-dad is a pastor); And from there, God moved within me and I began to change. But then, I realized our relationship (me and my ex's) was going downhill, but I didn't want to break up with him because I didn't want to be the 'bad' guy. His mother loved me and wanted me to be with her son. He even asked me to marry him and I said yes (which, regretfully, I had not been sure I should have said yes when I did). And, my ex had been through some bad relationships, so I didn't want to make it worse. And there were other things too. And on top of that, I didn't want to start over with someone new. But God had already given me direction to let him go. And finally (after letting him go and getting back with him twice again) I let him go for good. It was HARD!!! But I had to do it, and I thank God b/c I have HIM and I used to pray for my ex so much to get right with the Lord, but it was for my personal benefit (to be back with him). And I think about him a lot, even today. But I know I can't go backward. And I know I did the right thing. And I ask God to remove that desire from looking for him and letting him live his life and for my ex's benefit, I hope that he is indeed saved. And that's real.
But I am moving on day by day and it feels good. And I know if I were with him now, it would be for the wrong reasons, and I would have to answer to God for that one.

I hope this may help you in some way. God bless you.

--Stefanie