Christian Forums

Quote from: rachelliott on Fri Jan 08, 2010 - 07:04:57
It was a few years ago. I don't know any details except that he liked her for 7 years before they got together. Personally I think she's crazy for ever letting him go...
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If it was a few years ago then he would probably be over her by now.As for her letting him go, maybe you dont know him well enough yet to knwo what the reasons were and if it was him or her who called it off. yes and also as farouk said, it may be a good idea to know what happened to cause her not to want to marry him.(if that was the case) 

Ms rachell; Ms ch:

Quote from: chosenone on Fri Jan 08, 2010 - 10:37:03

Quote from: rachelliott on Fri Jan 08, 2010 - 07:04:57
It was a few years ago. I don't know any details except that he liked her for 7 years before they got together. Personally I think she's crazy for ever letting him go...

Quote
If it was a few years ago then he would probably be over her by now.As for her letting him go, maybe you dont know him well enough yet to knwo what the reasons were and if it was him or her who called it off. yes and also as farouk said, it may be a good idea to know what happened to cause her not to want to marry him.(if that was the case)  

You might even want to figure if it was the other way round, too. (Like, if he gave her marching orders, so to speak. I'm not trying denigrate him; simply, it's in your interests to find out if there are any big issues there.)

Take care.

Maybe, but he's never mentioned her in any capacity and I don't feel it would be the right thing to do to ask about her, maybe if we were together and were closer I would though. For now I think I will try my best just to leave things, because through the advice given me here I've realised that he's probably not as interested (if he is at all) as I am.

Quote from: rachelliott on Thu Jan 07, 2010 - 20:51:57
Hi,

Can I ask for some advice please? This guy who I have known (not very well, and for about 10 years) and I have recently started emailing each other.

So, you have known him and you two have not gotten to know each other about how you and he approach making decisions about relationships? With ladies I get to know, this is one thing we find very interesting to explore. I let them know I pray and sense for how God has me relating with each lady, and that God wants me to be loving with every lady > Jesus wants us to love all people > so, also, I expect a lady to be able to help me as my helpmate to learn how to love all people, not only her.

QuoteHe's the loveliest guy, so kind and thoughtful. ....he's as lovely in real life as he is online.

This is basic, I'd say, how God would have me be in relating with any person.

QuoteAnyway, because I wasn't sure how it went I asked him 'what happens now' (which I'm regretting- too forward you think?)

It depends on your relationship and your personalities. I have known women who are very forward and adventurous, and we expect to talk openly. Others > can be very subtle and this challenges me to have sense and intuition Both are good > the forward and the mysterious So . . . enjoy discovering how God has you loving him how he really is.

Quoteand he said he has no idea what happens now and he's just taking things as they go. So what would you make of what he's said? I have no idea how to interpret that. Should I just let it go?

Well, the Bible does say we do not know what each day will bring. So, a Christian man who knows the Bible could mean this, by saying that > could be a good thing to hear, then

QuoteFor my own sanity I feel like I need to know.

But that may not be so adventurous and challenging for seeking God honestly to know His will and obey how He would like to do things. If we jump to getting a conclusion, this can mean we are trying to make things happen that * > we < * want and can control. A really Christian guy "might" prefer to feel God out and learn better how to walk with Him and see if you are still walking with him when he does

QuoteAlso does going to a movie and then out for dinner constitute a date? I wasn't sure before we went and I'm not sure now either.

If you are God's choice for him . . . no need to put a label on one of your first most precious times together Relax and enjoy. It was beautiful, whether you are meant for each other or not. If he really is Christian, then he's a fine brother who has shared with you, and was kind about answering your question > you say he did say you could say things without rattling him, didn't he? I offer > he means whatever he says, if he's a deeply honest person; so enjoy discovering a real brother, possibly, however this turns out. Even if God has not chosen you for each other > if he's a really Jesus guy, now you have a standard of excellence for who God would have you marry. Many a lady has settled for less, thinking there aren't any really Christian guys. Now you have proof otherwise, possibly . . . I mean, if he is real > you need to be able to sense in the Holy Spirit to really know.

Quotehe know's I think he's great.

If he knows this, I'd say you have communicated more personally, than you have let us know, here I think each guy is different; and so guys can say and do the same thing, but each one can mean something different. You need to get to know someone, so you know what he means, I'd say. And enjoy getting more with God so you enjoy and appreciate however He plans to have this turn out

Thanks for your reply Comfy, lots of good advice. He knows I think he's great because I told him this when he's been understanding and kind in his emails. (and I didn't expect him to be) I've always sought to encourage him and build him up as best I can and that's what I was doing when I told him I think he's great. It was also my way of saying thanks to him.

ok First, it depends on your age, i made a huge mistake when i went out with a girl when i was 14, and we did hold hands, it ended in disaster and since then i have learned to follow god. do not have any physical contact until you are engaged, if its just a date and you have no intention of marrying him, it is wrong

I'm 25, he's 33, so we are not too young. I know what I want- a long term (life!) relationship. I'm not in this just for fun. I don't see physical contact before marriage as wrong (holding hands, kissing, that stuff...) because its a way of showing someone you care about them. Thanks for your advice though

Quote from: rachelliott on Fri Jan 08, 2010 - 03:43:56
This is all good advice, thanks. But what does 'I have no idea what happens now, I'm just taking things as they go' mean? (a guy's perspective would be nice please :))

I suspect that he isn't sure where he is headed in life in the next 2-3 years and that he isnt really sure what to do with you as a woman.
And I suspect that he does not understand what a woman fells and thinks when a man does something like this.
Has he asked your dad to take you out?

My whole take on this: PRAY!!!! ask for wisdom and guidance. God will give it to you.
Ask God to reveal to you the intentions that this guy has....

He sounds like a good guy, polite and all, and yes, going out to movie or dinner or whatever is a date, I say go out some more, get to know each other more and if you like at some point ask him about courting and if that goes well ask him about engagement.  No reason not to make it official if it's working out.