Christian Forums

 ::saint::I've been praying God would bring someone to meet that would be a good marriage partner...2 men came into picture...one I had more of an attraction to...but was much different in biblical views...so I dated him first...he claimed to be a Christian..but friuts showed other wise...now I'm seeing the other guy for church...talking a lot bout Bible...we share same beliefs & also are at same growth level...or comparatible...in our walk with God.....we just really enjoy each other that way....what are the other ways to be compatible? I know spiritual is the main one...probably attracton ...then ...personality....shared interests..I think there are 4? anyway.....we are geting to know each other as friends...& sharing spiritually...he has kissed me...I think we both have a attraction to one another...how long should one wait till ya date exclusively? I'm so tired of the guys on dating sites...that claim they are Christians...but are sheep in wolves clothing...this guy is the real deal....I think hes kinda shy...so should I not date anyone else? I'm so tired of the games most guys play...but I dont know how to ask this guy if he wants to just date exclusively...he volunteers & works for God...I dont think hes dating right now...except me....if ya want to call walking once a week & talking & then on Sundays going to church & talking after that.... dating...I just dont feel like the girl should be the one to bring up dating exclusive...even though I'm the only one dating others right now....guess I dont know the proper etiquitte...& dont want him to feel pressured in any way...so any suggestions from my fellow Christians? God bless...mnd boggled(yeah its me again(lol)

I noticed you've posted about having a son, dating online and breaking off a difficult engagement elsewhere...you seem to have so much you have and are dealing with i wonder why you ask here what seems to be, on the face of it, such a simple questions.

Follow your instinct. If, as it appears, you want to date exclusively tell this guy you enjoy his company and would like to spend more time together ASAP then end it with the others if he says yes. If he isn't keen on any further involvement, move on.

I would say don't ever mess people about, my bf wasn't exclusive when we started dating and he didn't realise i didn't know about this not-exclusive period. I assumed he acted a bit like he was seeing other people - because he was seeing other people (even though he's christian). He got heavy immediately despite this, but i sensed there were others. He went exclusive pretty quickly i think, but it took me years to let go and love him fully, because i didn't know we'd been open then exclusive, i couldn't trust, i lost my self-esteem, i assumed he was faking his affections. We're all  sorted out now though  Avoid this experience at all costs.

Hi, Mind Boggled (c:

So, you've gotten that compatible mainly needs "spiritual". Sounds good.

And "probably attraction" . . . probably But not just because of outward stuff, but deeper satisfaction of love, "maybe", since the outward things will charm  but then change.

"then personality" . . . and personality will develop as we grow in Jesus.

"shared interests" . . . our interests and priorities will change as we get more with God in His love.

For example, at least in my case . . . I was watching hours of TV, each day. Then my mother died and only then was when I dared to try out her computer. I got pen palling with ladies, and I fell in love with someone, and she shared her life story of marriage and abuse and divorce, etc., with me. Relating with her was quite more interesting than TV action shows, to say the least. I needed to stop the TV so I could pray and meditate on how I was relating with her. Learning how to love her was much more interesting than TV hai-karate stuff, and a "little" bit more challenging. I now can see why people in their adrenaline rush stuff can easily get bored: because no challenge can satisfy us like facing the challenge of finding out how to really love any and all people.

So . . . as I get into loving . . . the interests change.

I'm considering that if you are satisfied with him, you do not need to talk about if you are going to go just with him. And if he's not going with anyone else, may be he's finding out that he is satisfied with you so there is no need to talk about being "exclusive". If God has you for each other, things can naturally work that way, I'd consider. Enjoy how you are sharing; I think that's special that it might be enough to take a walk; because it seems a lot of people are first concerned about what they want to do, but they aren't relating with and appreciating each other.

So, I would say enjoy what you have.