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There's this girl that I won't name, I'll just give her an initial.  Let's call her K.  So K and I started to date earlier this year in early September.  It was good...for about a week, until I felt like a jerk because she was one of my best friend's exes.  So I told her I felt bad, and she understood, and we were just friends.  Then homecoming came around the corner in late September.  We got to slow dancing...and we went back out again.  For two weeks this time.  While we were going out, the friend I was talking to you about was getting on my case, again, and another one of my best friends was secretly trying to break us up so he could go out with K.  

When I did break up with her, again, she was pretty upset.  And so were her friends.  It was a rough next two months...but I got through it.  Then, about a month ago, the friend that secretly convinced me to break up with her confessed that he influenced me to do so.  I decided to tell K, since we settled on being friends after all that went through.  K and I got to talking a bit more and we were both upset with my friend.  Then, I asked if she wanted to give it another shot, this time friends won't get in the way, etc.  So here we are now!  She and I were both really excited and that was about 3 weeks ago.

Already this sounds kind of bad, doesn't it?  Well it gets worse :(  While her friends were mad at me, I was confused, and angry, and frustrated. Comment deleted

She's a home schooled freshman and I'm a senior.  We have set strict boundaries on not being alone together and I already have plans to date her through college while I attend Central Christian College next fall.  If all goes well, eventually I will publish my book that I am working on and I can buy an apartment near Central where we can live in IF we get married while we both attend college there.  

Already this seems impossible, but that's the beauty of God you know?  He loves a challenge in somebody's life and to show how He can work with it.  But my main problem is this:

She's getting kind of boring.  When we are at youth group together, she almost always talks to her friends instead of me and almost all the time on the phone, person, or text, I initiate the conversation.  One of her friends that is really close to me has said that K thinks that I might break up with her, which I've already told her I won't.  I talked to K about this today and she said that she thinks her life is boring, so that's why she doesn't initiate the conversation too much, or at all.  She sounds like she's crazy over me, but doesn't really show it.  

What do you guys think?  I don't want to break up with her...but I also don't want to be the "girl" in the relationship by always talking and talking and talking!  

Don't overthink this.  You are far too young for this drama.

Go with the flow young grasshopper.

Quote from: The Great Baptizmo on Sat Mar 12, 2011 - 08:57:20
Don't overthink this.  You are far too young for this drama.

Go with the flow young grasshopper.

People used to (and still do) get married at his age. Wolflet might be likened to Jacob, working hard for the difficult-to-attain Rachel--and having second thoughts.

Youth has nothing to do with it--except that we live in a defective culture that stunts everyone's natural rate of maturity.

She just sounds kind of moody, Wolflet. I think maybe you shouldn't take it so seriously. I've been around women who seemed bored and uninterested and--as much as modern culture hates this phenomena--turned out were just waiting for someone else to just tell them what to do, and that's just where they fit socially. (i.e. show some leadership, provide the energy) I think all of this applies regardless of the type of relationship.

Let the relationship run its course...you need her to participate in the communication, if she does do but just needs a bit of leading due to being a little bit quiet and reserved, then maybe thats something that you can both work around.

Hope things go well with your book. Hope you dont mind me expressing an opinion, aim for a more 'mainstream' employment and write in your spare time. Don't put all your hope into the publishing of a book as your financial security. Its hard to make a living as an author. Don't by any means give up on it, please try with all your might, but don't rely on it as your future economic answer. There is nothing unspiritual about a contingency plan, especially if you want to be an author, actor, artist, sing/songwriter. Many extremely gifted people do not earn a living from such endeavours. Just my thoughts.

Quote from: Cally on Sun Mar 13, 2011 - 15:31:25

Quote from: The Great Baptizmo on Sat Mar 12, 2011 - 08:57:20
Don't overthink this.  You are far too young for this drama.

Go with the flow young grasshopper.

People used to (and still do) get married at his age. Wolflet might be likened to Jacob, working hard for the difficult-to-attain Rachel--and having second thoughts.

Youth has nothing to do with it--except that we live in a defective culture that stunts everyone's natural rate of maturity.

She just sounds kind of moody, Wolflet. I think maybe you shouldn't take it so seriously. I've been around women who seemed bored and uninterested and--as much as modern culture hates this phenomena--turned out were just waiting for someone else to just tell them what to do, and that's just where they fit socially. (i.e. show some leadership, provide the energy) I think all of this applies regardless of the type of relationship.

I started dating my wife when I was close to this guys age.   Wolflet still needs to go with the flow.  Let it work itself out.  The girl in the OP is a freshmen in high school.  As such, there is a lot of time to let life happen.  No need to spend lots of time worrying.

Quote from: The Great Baptizmo on Sun Mar 13, 2011 - 16:43:03

Quote from: Cally on Sun Mar 13, 2011 - 15:31:25

Quote from: The Great Baptizmo on Sat Mar 12, 2011 - 08:57:20
Don't overthink this.  You are far too young for this drama.

Go with the flow young grasshopper.

People used to (and still do) get married at his age. Wolflet might be likened to Jacob, working hard for the difficult-to-attain Rachel--and having second thoughts.

Youth has nothing to do with it--except that we live in a defective culture that stunts everyone's natural rate of maturity.

She just sounds kind of moody, Wolflet. I think maybe you shouldn't take it so seriously. I've been around women who seemed bored and uninterested and--as much as modern culture hates this phenomena--turned out were just waiting for someone else to just tell them what to do, and that's just where they fit socially. (i.e. show some leadership, provide the energy) I think all of this applies regardless of the type of relationship.

I started dating my wife when I was close to this guys age.   Wolflet still needs to go with the flow.  Let it work itself out.  The girl in the OP is a freshmen in high school.  As such, there is a lot of time to let life happen.  No need to spend lots of time worrying.

I getcha.

I skipped all the dating noise for the same sorts of reasons. Spouses are supposed to be "life partners" and just take it all on together, but I don't know how I feel about the girlfriend/boyfriend thing. I was just thinking that some people might like to get married in the appropriate sort of ways but circumstances can make it hard. 

Thanks for the advice guys  we talked it out and we aren't going to text as much, and we are getting more and more used to each other, so it's working out very well.  Now, we talk most of our problems out and I believe that's what marriage is supposed to be like.  But that's still a HUGE if.

If she thinks her life is boring, it's probably because IT IS boring.

Maybe she should try something new.

Not a bad idea Wycliffes.  Thanks!