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Married brothers in Christ,

How do you guys feel about talking "dirty" with your wives? I know that if you are single it is a sin, but what if you are married and talking dirty with your lawfully wedded wife? Does the Bible weigh in on this issue?


Thanks,

Nick

Despite the current issues in my marriage, I was comfortable with this.

It wasn't anything crazy, and nothing that would offend or make my wife uncomfortable. That is really the guide in this I think.

Sometimes it would mostly be talking about what is happening physically, what you want to happen, something specific you are enjoying or like about your wife, or some fun role play.

I personally think that a bit of talking dirty is ok, between husband and wife. Though I think we have to tread carefully with saying things that may de-value the sacred and holy nature of marital bodily union or promote sex as a purely physical act ie; lust disconnected from love. So in my opinion, yes be free about it, but also on your guard to not make your love-making feel like an encounter in a seedy motel between a prostitue and her client.

There is a scripture about not letting unwholesome talk come from your mouth. (ephesians 4) I am not sure that this would include sexually charged and maybe crude talk between husband and wife in the context of mutual understanding and boundaries agreed on.

Read the Song of Solomon. I have no issue with talking dirty my wife, unless it bothers her.

It may be unwholesome, indeed, if the people are offended or embarrassed by it.  Or, it may heighten the pleasure of the sexual relationship between
them, if neither finds it objectionable.

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I know that if you are single it is a sin

I don't know.  At least some good scholarship says that the Song of Solomon begins when the "Shulamite" and the man are in courtship, and this is "wooing".  Whether we "say things", or not, clearly our body language and our facial gestures do, even before we're married, so I'm not sure I want
to legalize about "saying" being sin.

This has to come under the category of "meat sacrificed to idols".

Just something to think about, I'm not trying to encourage anyone to do something which would violate his conscience.  I, for one, have a real hard time with "when" the "line" comes.  I'm not a "black and white" kind of guy, and not very legalistic.  I try to more look for the general intent than the "letter" of it.

It is clear to me, that in marriage, if both the husband and the wife like it, there's no sin in it.

I'm also not one to be all hot and bothered by words.  The words "God forbid" used by the Apostle Paul and "sons of snakes" and "child of hell" said by the Lord Jesus Christ (who was indeed sinless, so this terminology in itself cannot be sinful) would probably be considered worthy of sackcloth and renting one's shirt in many christian circles.  However, some of the most blasphemous, utter curses can be said with complete politeness.