Christian Forums

This isn't particularly religious/faith orientated, but I figured this is a safe environment to discuss within..

Basically, I posted a few weeks ago with regards to a girl I may end up dating soon. Doesn't look like that's gonna happen now. The short story is that we've been very close (if not best) friends for about 3 - 4 years now. During the last year we've gotten a lot closer, started being a lot more playful and flirty, while also having deeper conversations and finding out more about each other rather than just what we want other people to see. Well, last week we spoke and she told me she'd liked me for quite a while now but wasn't sure if she wanted to pursue it or not because she was scared of ruining our friendship. I've liked her for at least the past year, and in September I asked her out, and in her words "I wanted to say yes, but I ran from it because I was scared" and now that's kind of gone.. A few days ago we spoke again, and she told me she felt like we should just stay friends, and that she didn't like me in that way. It may have been stupid to tell her I was falling in love with her, but whatever.

My problem now is the friendzone. You see, we've never really been in it.. Like some people in the friendzone are as close as two people who are practically in a relationship, but the point is that they never would be. Me and this girl have never really been there, as we've always just been really close, but also had a strong flirty connection for the last year or so. I don't know if we're going to end up in the friendzone now or not, but if we do, then I have a problem.

My question really, is a 3 part one.

1) We haven't got to friendzone yet, so how do I avoid it?

2) If I do end up in the friendzone, how can I get out of it?

3) Regardless of friendzone, this is going to take time before there's any hope of it going somewhere. How can I keep things "normal"?

No. 3 is potentially my biggest concern at the moment, especially as she now knows how strongly I feel about her. I want to carry on as friends until there's a chance to try again, and I want to do it soon before I unintentionally cut her off from being awkward/shy or whatever. I've never been good at hiding when something's bothering me, and this is a fairly big deal for me, so I'm not too sure how to handle it...

Thanks :)

I would say you aint going into the friendzone spo don't sweat it. May take some time but you two are going to date.