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COMMANDMENT #2
Thou shalt take seriously thy obligation to
train up thy young people in the knowledge
of God's IDEAL for marriage, and the
consequences of failing to achieve it.

Although this is very similar to the first commandment, in that it involves education, it is far more specific in focus. The church has a responsibility to its youth that when shirked results in the gravest of consequences. A lost generation can easily develop through a failure to faithfully impart God's teachings. \"Train a child in the way he should go\" [Proverbs 22:6] is good advice! The local congregation of believers should insure that its youth, from infancy onward, are exposed constantly to the beauty of God's IDEAL for marriage, both in teaching and in practice. With such training they will be better equipped to resist the temptations of the world to depart from the way in which they should go.[/quote]

I wish more churches would do this. When I talk to them about marriage ministry, it seems many are more interested in their building program, or whatever.

Marriage is the backbone of the family. Studies have shown that divorce has harmful effects on children. God said that he hates divorce. The church should fight divorce by strengthening marriages. By giving couples the tools to keep their marriage safe and strong.

For more information, visit www.marriagesaver.com

The following is offered for your consideration.  I believe that Al has hit a home run with this latest column.

Dan Smith
Sparks, NV

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REFLECTIONS
Regarding Responsible Reformation
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by Al Maxey
[a href=\"mailto:maxey@zianet.com\"]maxey@zianet.com[/a] ------- www.zianet.com/maxey/
Issue #52 ------- July 7, 2003
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Ten Commandments
for the Church of Jesus Christ
Concerning Divorce & Remarriage


The universal body of believers, often referred to as the church, is \"the pillar and support of Truth\" [1 Tim. 3:15]. But, has it truly been meeting its God-given responsibility with regard to the biblical teaching on divorce and remarriage? Even more importantly, has it truly been effective in its ministry and message of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18-19) to those who have been victimized and traumatized by the effects of divorce? Or, has its message been more one of alienation than reconciliation? If the church is anything other than a redemptive, healing fellowship, then somewhere along the way it has lost sight of its mission. If its proclamation is not one of grace, love, forgiveness and acceptance, it has lost sight of its message.

What specifically are the responsibilities of the church with regard to those experiencing the trauma of divorce and the stigma of remarriage? In an attempt to address this critical matter facing God's people, consider the following Ten Commandments with which the church should seek to comply in order to promote the healing process, and to possibly prevent such covenant breakdowns in the future. These are taken from the final chapter of my 300 page book (which can be read in its entirety on my web site) entitled Down, But Not Out: A Study of Divorce & Remarriage in Light of God's Healing Grace.


COMMANDMENT #1
Thou shalt promote prayerful, in-depth study of
God's Word on marriage, divorce and remarriage
in every congregation of believers in the One Body.

Before the church can presume to speak intelligently and convincingly for God on any subject, it must first be thoroughly acquainted with the entirety of His teaching relevant to that issue. \"If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God\" [1 Peter 4:11]. The church must also understand how to apply that teaching to the challenges and temptations of daily life. What was God's original intent for marriage? What provisions did He make in the Law of Moses for the heartless actions of men and women as they repeatedly violated that divine intent? What message of grace and healing is extended through the teachings of Jesus Christ and the apostle Paul? I'm convinced the people of God are woefully lacking in this area of knowledge, and this deficit of understanding is critical in its negative effects upon those desperately in need of healing.

Before the church can ever effectively promote healing, however, it must promote education. God's people must know God's mind. Without that knowledge, which is gained only through careful, prayerful examination of His revealed Word, the church is ill-equipped to offer the guidance so desperately needed in the world today. Indeed, it will likely only do more harm than good, as has too frequently been the case when ill-informed disciples seek to \"minister\" to those who are hurting.

As a part of this educational process, a local congregation of believers must insure that all preconceptions and prejudices, all opinions, traditions, and biases drawn from one's religious heritage are set aside in favor of an honest, open, free investigation into God's revealed Truth. Genuine Truth has absolutely nothing to fear from such a process; Truth remains Truth regardless of the intensity of the investigation into it. Only one's misconceptions and biases need fear exposure to the light of God's Word. Entering into such a study with the right attitude will assure that change will be embraced if one's previous position is found to be inconsistent with the teachings of Scripture. May the people of God be honest enough and courageous enough to change, even in the face of criticism, when God's Truth is perceived.


COMMANDMENT #2
Thou shalt take seriously thy obligation to
train up thy young people in the knowledge
of God's IDEAL for marriage, and the
consequences of failing to achieve it.

Although this is very similar to the first commandment, in that it involves education, it is far more specific in focus. The church has a responsibility to its youth that when shirked results in the gravest of consequences. A lost generation can easily develop through a failure to faithfully impart God's teachings. \"Train a child in the way he should go\" [Proverbs 22:6] is good advice! The local congregation of believers should insure that its youth, from infancy onward, are exposed constantly to the beauty of God's IDEAL for marriage, both in teaching and in practice. With such training they will be better equipped to resist the temptations of the world to depart from the way in which they should go.


COMMANDMENT #3
Thou shalt not debate and divide while the
distressed lie neglected upon thy doorstep.

It is said that while Nero fiddled, Rome burned! In like manner, while the church debates the numerous personal preferences and practices associated with divorce and remarriage, the divorced and remarried themselves are ignored. Victims are in need of love, not lectures; devotion, not debate. A church divided over the issue of divorce is a church incapable of effectively ministering to the divorced.

Look to the example of Jesus. While the Pharisees debated whether it was right for one to heal on the Sabbath, Jesus healed on the Sabbath. Jesus did not spend months in heated debate over the tedious tenets of their religious tradition; He simply did what was right! He healed. The church spends far too much time debating, and far too little time doing! The time has come for the people of God to set aside the religious wrangling and begin living up to their calling. It is time to promote a ministry of healing, and proclaim a message of hope.


COMMANDMENT #4
Thou shalt seek ways to render practical
assistance to victims of divorce.

A woman who has been put away by a faithless spouse, especially if that woman has children still at home, is probably going to need a great deal of practical assistance to face the challenges of daily existence. She may need to secure employment. Day care for young children may need to be obtained. Managing a budget, or coping with finances, may be unfamiliar territory. The list of possible concerns, many of which may be immediate and critical, is endless.

Such tasks, on top of the stress of the divorce itself, can quickly become overwhelming. The church must be prepared to provide immediate assistance to the victims of divorce who may be temporarily unable to cope with the cares which have suddenly been thrust upon them. Don't wait for their circumstances to become so desperate that they are forced to seek the help of the church --- go to them first, and graciously demonstrate the love of Christ in action.


COMMANDMENT #5
Thou shalt utilize thy members as a resource.

There dwells within virtually every community of believers several members who have experienced divorce and remarriage. Some were victims, some were victimizers; some healed quickly, others struggled through the process. The church in the city of Corinth had within its ranks those who previously had been sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexual offenders, thieves, drunkards, slanderers, and swindlers. However, they had been washed clean, sanctified, and justified by God's grace at work in their lives [1 Corinthians 6:9-11]. Imagine the wealth of wisdom and support such transformed people could provide!

Congregations which utilize these members to reach out to their fellow members in pain, and also to the unbelieving public around them, are wise indeed. Victims of divorce need loving support; they need healing; and what better place to find it than among God's people. By providing this living resource to the general public, as well as to one's own members, a congregation of believers not only extends the parameters of God's ministry of healing, but also opens the door for evangelistic opportunities.


COMMANDMENT #6
Thou shalt allow the divorced to actively
serve in the work and worship of the church.

Although the apostle Paul seems to indicate a man who has previously dealt treacherously with his wife may not serve as a spiritual leader to the people of God, nevertheless the divorced can, and should, be allowed to serve in all other areas of the work and worship of the Lord's church. The Scriptures do not indicate that a divorce renders one a second-class citizen in the kingdom of God, or that it renders one unfit for active service in that kingdom.

Further, it will facilitate the healing process of those experiencing the breakdown of a covenant of marriage if they are kept active and working. And what better type of activity with which to be engaged than service to God and His cause. Thus, the church should not restrict the areas in which these forgiven men and women may labor for their Lord.


COMMANDMENT #7
Thou shalt associate with those who
have been divorced and remarried.

Although such a commandment may seem rather strange on the surface, it is a sad fact that many of those who have suffered through a divorce find themselves ostracized by their fellow believers. Perhaps believing they might become defiled by association, some in the church have blatantly refused any form of fellowship with those they deem to be \"unclean.\" Such behavior is unworthy of those who profess to be followers of the Lord.

Jesus constantly kept company with those whom the \"religious\" of His day felt to be unworthy of their acceptance and association. The Lord refused to allow these self-righteous hypocrites to prevent Him from reaching out to those in need of healing. In so doing He shocked and shamed the very ones who should have been leading the way in lifting up the fallen. The people of God must not become so righteous in their own sight that they are unwilling to embrace those who are struggling with sin in their lives, or who may be the innocent victims of the sinful actions of others.


COMMANDMENT #8
Thou shalt not place restrictions and burdens
upon the divorced and remarried that the
Lord God Himself has not.

Where has God authorized His people to ostracize those afflicted with the loss of a covenant relationship? By what authority are they banned from involvement in the work and worship of the church? What Scripture declares them unclean, unsaved, and unworthy of one's fellowship? What declaration of our Lord denies them hope, healing, and the opportunity to strive for the IDEAL again in a future relationship?

The Pharisee who thanked God in prayer that he was superior to adulterers [Luke 18:11] did not receive justification from the Lord. Being far more concerned with the exactness of religious forms and outward appearances than with compassion for the plight of one's fellow man, the Pharisees were repeatedly condemned by Jesus Christ. Their legalistic perspective succeeded only in adding burdens and imposing restrictions upon those already being afflicted and weighed down by \"the powers of this dark world

I appreciate many of Al Maxey's words here. In times past, I have actually heard other believers say that an \"unscripturally divorced and remarried\" person has no hope, or almost no hope. I have seen many repentant, God-fearing people shunned and turned away because of their \"unscriptural marriages\". In fact, I actually added to such unscriptural notions, by helping in times past to maintain, as well as build upon the teaching that created such attitudes... May God forgive me, and may He heal those hurting souls, and give them peace.

Well,, the man may remarry if his wife committed adultery in the marriage and they are divorced.. but the woman is to remain unmarried as along as he lives.. see below as to why...?

The proper word used in Rom 7:2 could be translated "bound of law