Loving the unloved one.

[The unloved one]

I've been curious about this for awhile.... How do people in the faith meet each other and date?
I mean I would assume once you start falling in love certain emotions and thoughts would be considered sins. Also how do you manage if someone outside the truth has captured your heart?
Thanks in advance.

[chosenone]

I've been curious about this for awhile.... How do people in the faith meet each other and date?
I mean I would assume once you start falling in love certain emotions and thoughts would be considered sins. Also how do you manage if someone outside the truth has captured your heart?
Thanks in advance.

If you wanted to meet someone who is a Christian then the most likely place would be at achurch or other Christian events. My husband and I and also my son and his lovely girlfriend met on a Christian dating internet site, and I know others who have also done so.
God tells us that we arent to marry non Christians as that can cause all sorts of problems, so to go out with someone who isnt a Christian if you are one, would be playing with fire. I know a lady who was  married and did meet a non Christian, started going out with him and divoced her husband, and it ended badly becuase she prayed that he would become a Christian, slept with him, and then he didnt want to carry on the relationship anyway, so she was left having committed adultery,having divorced her husband for no Bibical reason, unlikely to ever meet another Christian because of her age, and alone with her regrets.

As for the thoughts and emotions being considered a sin, we are told not to have sex with someone before marriage, so that is out, but we can use the time before marriage to really get to know the other person and look forward to the marriage bit to have a good sex lfe. it is worth waiting for, and all the more special if we do ait as we are in Gods will.

[The unloved one]

I've been curious about this for awhile.... How do people in the faith meet each other and date?
I mean I would assume once you start falling in love certain emotions and thoughts would be considered sins. Also how do you manage if someone outside the truth has captured your heart?
Thanks in advance.

If you wanted to meet someone who is a Christian then the most likely place would be at achurch or other Christian events. My husband and I and also my son and his lovely girlfriend met on a Christian dating internet site, and I know others who have also done so.
God tells us that we arent to marry non Christians as that can cause all sorts of problems, so to go out with someone who isnt a Christian if you are one, would be playing with fire. I know a lady who was  married and did meet a non Christian, started going out with him and divoced her husband, and it ended badly becuase she prayed that he would become a Christian, slept with him, and then he didnt want to carry on the relationship anyway, so she was left having committed adultery,having divorced her husband for no Bibical reason, unlikely to ever meet another Christian because of her age, and alone with her regrets.

As for the thoughts and emotions being considered a sin, we are told not to have sex with someone before marriage, so that is out, but we can use the time before marriage to really get to know the other person and look forward to the marriage bit to have a good sex lfe. it is worth waiting for, and all the more special if we do ait as we are in Gods will.

Seems like a low pay off with high labor, how the flock stand all the rules and regulations given to it. Seems like deeper bondage than anything but then again I am lookiing from outside in. I been sexually active since sixteen and I come to realize that it isn't all its worth and doesn't seem worth living your life with someone that has a say in every major decision in you life till death. Such union doesn't even seem fair or kind.

[chosenone]

I've been curious about this for awhile.... How do people in the faith meet each other and date?
I mean I would assume once you start falling in love certain emotions and thoughts would be considered sins. Also how do you manage if someone outside the truth has captured your heart?
Thanks in advance.

If you wanted to meet someone who is a Christian then the most likely place would be at achurch or other Christian events. My husband and I and also my son and his lovely girlfriend met on a Christian dating internet site, and I know others who have also done so.
God tells us that we arent to marry non Christians as that can cause all sorts of problems, so to go out with someone who isnt a Christian if you are one, would be playing with fire. I know a lady who was  married and did meet a non Christian, started going out with him and divoced her husband, and it ended badly becuase she prayed that he would become a Christian, slept with him, and then he didnt want to carry on the relationship anyway, so she was left having committed adultery,having divorced her husband for no Bibical reason, unlikely to ever meet another Christian because of her age, and alone with her regrets.

As for the thoughts and emotions being considered a sin, we are told not to have sex with someone before marriage, so that is out, but we can use the time before marriage to really get to know the other person and look forward to the marriage bit to have a good sex lfe. it is worth waiting for, and all the more special if we do ait as we are in Gods will.

Seems like a low pay off with high labor, how the flock stand all the rules and regulations given to it. Seems like deeper bondage than anything but then again I am lookiing from outside in. I been sexually active since sixteen and I come to realize that it isn't all its worth and doesn't seem worth living your life with someone that has a say in every major decision in you life till death. Such union doesn't even seem fair or kind.

Having a good marriage is the best thing ever believe me. it isnt a bondage it is a joy. As for someone else having a say in things we do, what does that matter?. If you love that person you work things out and come to compromises and decide what is best for both of you and your family.
As for being a Christian, is isnt a list of rules and regulations, it is knowing the most wonderful God we could ever want, allowing Him to love us and help us and this leads to us wanting to please Him and live life His way (which is the very best way and the only way that leads to real peace and joy).
Just because you have ben sexually active for 4 years means nothing. Many who become Christians have been sexually active before. When we become a Christian and really repent God wipes the slate clean and make us like new. We have a fresh start and a new beginning.  As you say yourself sex outside marriage isnt all its cracked to be and it actually leads you into bondage. Being married is freedom and not bondage. Living life Gods way is also freedom and not bondage. Try it , it works.

[The unloved one]

You have a point. I don't know maybe its just my fear of women and fear of being trapped with someone that is slowly going to hate me. I guess when your so involved in doing the right thing you have trouble really failing. Heh I am at a funny cross roads I cant be really evil and I can seem to do right.

[chosenone]

You have a point. I don't know maybe its just my fear of women and fear of being trapped with someone that is slowly going to hate me. I guess when your so involved in doing the right thing you have trouble really failing. Heh I am at a funny cross roads I cant be really evil and I can seem to do right.

yes you do seem to be at a cross roads, and I for one have great hopes for you. you are searching for the the truth. God wouldnt bring someone into your life until you are ready for it to happen. Your fear of women is obvious (maybe it has something to do with your mum or your parents?) if you were to eventually marry the person that God bought into your life, you wouldnt feel trapped, you woud feel loved, happy and free. God can and will heal you from your fear of women but again you need to ask Him to do this and to heal you from all your fears and problems.

[The unloved one]

You have a point. I don't know maybe its just my fear of women and fear of being trapped with someone that is slowly going to hate me. I guess when your so involved in doing the right thing you have trouble really failing. Heh I am at a funny cross roads I cant be really evil and I can seem to do right.

yes you do seem to be at a cross roads, and I for one have great hopes for you. you are searching for the the truth. God wouldnt bring someone into your life until you are ready for it to happen. Your fear of women is obvious (maybe it has something to do with your mum or your parents?) if you were to eventually marry the person that God bought into your life, you wouldnt feel trapped, you woud feel loved, happy and free. God can and will heal you from your fear of women but again you need to ask Him to do this and to heal you from all your fears and problems.

I am only an old stray chained to a tree watching the dogs at the dog park play with someone that cares. I am used goods I should be happy where I am. As far as God is concerned I have faith but I know I am not worth his time anymore. I lost everything from innocence to my mind when I was young now I am just a bitter hollowed out husk at the age of twenty.  While I am still alive physically I have been dead on the inside for years just waiting on the body to catch up.

[chosenone]

You have a point. I don't know maybe its just my fear of women and fear of being trapped with someone that is slowly going to hate me. I guess when your so involved in doing the right thing you have trouble really failing. Heh I am at a funny cross roads I cant be really evil and I can seem to do right.

yes you do seem to be at a cross roads, and I for one have great hopes for you. you are searching for the the truth. God wouldnt bring someone into your life until you are ready for it to happen. Your fear of women is obvious (maybe it has something to do with your mum or your parents?) if you were to eventually marry the person that God bought into your life, you wouldnt feel trapped, you woud feel loved, happy and free. God can and will heal you from your fear of women but again you need to ask Him to do this and to heal you from all your fears and problems.

I am only an old stray chained to a tree watching the dogs at the dog park play with someone that cares. I am used goods I should be happy where I am. As far as God is concerned I have faith but I know I am not worth his time anymore. I lost everything from innocence to my mind when I was young now I am just a bitter hollowed out husk at the age of twenty.  While I am still alive physically I have been dead on the inside for years just waiting on the body to catch up.

I am not sure that you have really read the replies that you have had here on this forums site. We have said that you dont have to stay this way. You do have a choice and that NO ONE is too bad to be loved and accepted by God. Do you think that you are the worst ever offender who has come to God and asked Him to forgive them and to come into their lives? Far from it, no one is too far gone for God to work miracles for them. Many have done FAR FAR worse things.than you and they have been changed and restored.
I am sure that there are many on these forums who have done bad things and have suffered much, I know that I have been thorugh terrible things in my life due to things others have done, but God can and will help you if you are really genuinely wanting to get His help.

After all the post I have written to you telling you about Gods love and what you need to do to change your life, of which none have made any difference, I think that you are actually feeling very sorry for yourself and need to take control and be determined to do something. Pray, ask God to help you, ask for his forgiveness, tell Him that you want things to change, and see what He will do. otherwise your time here will be a waste and nothing will ever improve.
You are a very young man, you have your whole life ahead of you, dont throw it away because of self pity!

I know a family where there are three young people who were all sexually abused by their father many times, They have all been through terrible times and hurt deeply. They have been through bad depression and times of such hurt, but God is gradually restoring to them what they lost. Two of them are now walking with God, they have forgiven their father and are being healed and restored.
The third one is also changing, has a nice boyfriend and is far happier than she has ever been. Why do you seem to think that you cannot be helped while they can.? They have been through worse things than you, so why does that leave you with the thought that God wont want you?
They themselves have had to crawl out of their pit, and really work at  trying to live a normal a life as possible. They have had to be determined to make life work and to go to God and ask for his help. What he is doing in their lives in nothing short of a miracle. The oldest one, had had a word form God that he will be a minister in Gods church. He is on fire for God and is studying full time at a Christian teaching centre for 6 months at the moment. He has started giving his testimony to others  to tell them what God has done in His life. he has met a lovely Christian girlfriend. This can be you, but you have to do your part. if you dont think God will help you then ask Him. He will you know, if you are determined to change your ways and trust Him with your future.

just think what an amazing testimony yours would be if you LET GOD come into your life and allowed Him to change you and restore you. As I have said before, what have you got to loose? Nothing. You are not at all happy now so why not make the decision to go with God and see what he will do.

[kingdom-heir]

some_screwed_guy

[/quote]
and yet u forget about the hypocrites i mentioned. oh well... go ahead and say "not all of us are hypocrites that parties in clubs, have casual sex, have shotgun marriages (because folks wont/dont wanna pay for abortion), have a job that is about dancing on bartops (coz its fun)".

i've heard em all.
[/quote]

I have been a christian for only ten years, since I was 51, after I had read the Bible through. I started going to churches and I saw the same as your view. Churches are full of people who like to call their selves christian and they give true christians a bad name. You need to read the Bible completely, and stay out of churches. Read my post "A proposition for the body of Christ" in the Restoration Movement forum under theology, then you will know what kind of church to look for.

[chosenone]

some_screwed_guy

and yet u forget about the hypocrites i mentioned. oh well... go ahead and say "not all of us are hypocrites that parties in clubs, have casual sex, have shotgun marriages (because folks wont/dont wanna pay for abortion), have a job that is about dancing on bartops (coz its fun)".

i've heard em all.
[/quote]

I have been a christian for only ten years, since I was 51, after I had read the Bible through. I started going to churches and I saw the same as your view. Churches are full of people who like to call their selves christian and they give true christians a bad name. You need to read the Bible completely, and stay out of churches. Read my post "A proposition for the body of Christ" in the Restoration Movement forum under theology, then you will know what kind of church to look for.
[/quote]

what churches have you been to then?
I live in the UK and I have met so many genuine Chistians, who are nice well meaning people and who love God. All of us fail sometimes and that is why we need Jesus.  To stop going to church becuase you dont feel that they live up to what you think they should isnt the answer. You should  carry on going and be part of improving what is there. 

[jessbuds]

You have a point. I don't know maybe its just my fear of women and fear of being trapped with someone that is slowly going to hate me. I guess when your so involved in doing the right thing you have trouble really failing. Heh I am at a funny cross roads I cant be really evil and I can seem to do right.

Times likes these comes in our lives ones in a while or maybe too often but remember that there is no one who ever lived who has a perfect life. Try reading the bible and study it. You will realize that even Solomon fell into despairing situations. To tell you,  you are blessed because you are a normal person. Do you know the struggle that i do everyday much worst than you have but i keep on going everyday. Do not expect the happiness only; embrace even the loneliness and sadness cause it is a part of life and in everything that comes thanks to Jesus because you learned from it. 

you still have a long way to go my brother if you are 20?  There many situations and experiences waiting for you down the road. Whereas me i am already at my near 40 and i dont have much to expect anymore. In fact often times i am thinking of my notice to go home.