trying less & less every day

[777]

Anyone else getting tired of trying to find someone to share their life with?  Over the last 2 years, I haven't even found someone I would want to simply hang out with.  I get people saying, "If you stop looking so hard, love will eventually find you".........yeah right!!.......if you go THAT approach, you are absolutely going to be single forever.  So......I've stopped trying.  Not because nothing is happening, but because nothing happens either way.  Anyone else in this boat?

[JohnDB]

Yeah...

The more I really and truly try hard not to date and just be happy being single and living the single lifestyle...some dame comes by flirting to beat the band...most are actually pretty easy to scare off.

Ya know...explain how I have terets syndrome and fibromialgia all at the same time...as well as an incurable social disease and that I believe that there is someone out there somewhere for me...and the mountain of debt that I have from the time that God told me to bet the farm on a blackjack table in a casino.



But then some of them see through all of that and come after me anyway...

why?
Because I am happy being alone...and there is something to be said for that. When I really don't care anything about dating...hang out and just talk with anyone anywhere about anything...and want and was doing fun stuff with the guys...really and truly want to be alone and not date...that is when the women beat a path to my door.

Maybe one day the timing for these little female distractions will be right...but today I ain't alone.  I do know that hunting for them is what makes them scarce...for real.

[777]

LOL.....no joke!  Maybe I should count my blessings and be thankful for all the "female" drama I'm avoiding by being single.  (no offense to any of the fine female guests we have viewing this thread)   

[fassopony]

I tend to get too busy to really get into even thinking about dating.  I like being single but would date/marry if the right guy came along.

My standards are too high though, Christian, fun, good sense of humor, honest and good looking (to me, I don't care who else might think you are good looking LOL!) are hard to come by.

I even gained weight from quitting smoking and still get hit on but unfortunately not by the sort of guy I appreciate 

I did join one of those single sites, for Christians and, upon checking my spam box, got quite a few messages, etc, about 5 months ago.  LOL!!  Ooops!

[DarrenC]

I know exactly the feeling.  I have been trying hard for 4 years now.  During college I went to 2 big college groups with 250+ members, and tried several dating websites, but I never found Ms. Right.  However I was engaged once, but that did not work out, and I am now very glad about that.  

The only thing I have found that helps coping with singleness is to pursue your passions in other aspects of your life in order to lessen the impact of the emptiness.  For example, this past year I have rather seriously considered everything from training to be an airline pilot, to starting a Ph.D. program. 

These things will never replace a relationship and they are not meant to.  But the best approach is to follow your dreams, and stumble into a relationship along the way.  My life used to revolve around finding the right women, but that is not healthy.  

[musicmajor]

I know what you mean. I am now single again after waiting for the right guy (or at least I thought he was :p ) to come along for a good while. Now I'm kinda like...what now? But I think, like it's been said, keeping busy with things that you like really helps. Getting more involved in your church or any other church is also a good thing. What I'm doing ( or trying to do) is run after God with everyitng I have.

[IamStefanie]

I understand. And I don't have any advice for you because I've been told the same things, and I don't know if there is a 'trick' to getting someone. So, I have just decided to LIVE. God knows what I desire and what He wants for my life. So, I am working on waiting, and while waiting, living my best life for Him and loving those around me.

[Seva]

I feel you,

I know about a dozen single women through my job and church functions. I've looked at date sites. None pop out at me. I suppose I could pursue the best one on my list, but then she would have to like me back. Nah, no thanks. Singleness is not that bad.

I feel like Adam when he was naming all of the animals and God saw that there was no match for him.

It will have to be a God thing.

[JohnDB]

For the guys...

I can honestly say that if you find a single's program going actively at a church and you can call that church home...you will get "hunted" and dragged off by several of these women...

Women want a sincere Christian Male...not a legalistic one who is always mourning the wickedness and sin in the world...nor one that is sooo "relaxed" about his faith that he barely attends church and that is about the extent of his Christian walk.

A guy who is passionate for Jesus, learns and knows scripture, can control his vices, is gainfully employed, and can be pleasant and friendly without appearing to be on the hunt to fall in love on the first date will actually find women beating a path to his door.

And Ladies,

The guys ain't looking to save any of you from mountains of debt, emotional rollercoasters, child raising, or your tedious job.
We want someone we can have as a friend first and foremost...someone who doesn't neccesarily like sports or video games but that can hold up their end of a conversation with understanding and empathy for how certain situations might make us feel. (no we ain't gonna say how it makes us feel...we are men)


BUT...

We guys do like to help a damsel in distress...having a guy come look at your computer, car, or wall that needs repairing...weed eater that needs string or something else along those lines...well...we just might have a start to a friendship if you ladies can fix us a dinner or lunch for our handi work...
Know what I mean?

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

It's a "list" thing.

So many of the younger people aren't honest with themselves in evaluating what they like/need and don't like/need.  A list of attributes is created - all of them fine qualities I'm sure.  But those lists often don't accurately portray their interests and likes and dislikes.

For instance, every girl seems to have "clean cut" and "humble" on their list.  But, experience says, those same gals seem to go more for bad boys who are neither clean cut nor humble.

Many Christian boys have "submissive" or "demure" or some variation on that theme on their list, even though they are terminally introverted and could never possibly pull off a relationship with a girl who was similar.

Ditch the lists.  Better yet, go find a person who's the opposite of everything on your list.  Find out what you really like and don't.

Jarrod