Men...Would you ever take a NON-BELIEVER seriously?

[OpenMindOpenHeart]

Say you've been dating this lady you really dig, and you find out her beliefs(religion-wise) is not in line with yours, would you continue seeing her or foresee something meaningful with her?

[chosenone]

If you are a Christain and she isnt, then no I wouldnt carry on dating her. If she later converts at some point, then yes, carry on.I know a Christisn lady who has just had to make the horrible decision to end it with her her boyfriend of several years, because he isnt interested in her faith and doesnt see why they need to get married and just wants to live together.
Find a godly young lady.

[Loner]

Scripture is clear that we should not be yoked with an unbeliever therefore unless she repents and is saved there is no point in pursing a relationship with her. It will save you both much pain in the future if you can discuss this now, let her know your stand right from the start.

[comfy]

Well, I would find out if someone is a Christian before I ask her to date. The Bible does say, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?" (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)

According to what I get from this scripture, if a woman is not a Christian, then I should not trust things about her that have me digging her; because it can be charm of things on the surface but her not having deeper what God wants her to have, so He can dig her.

There are people not Christians who can be very nice, intelligent, helping and caring, but they also can use this to say, Oh look how great I am; so I don't need Jesus. If someone feels like he or she is too good for Jesus, this is not humble, but very conceited. I would not dig this.

But . . . God can be drawing an unbeliever to Jesus. The person can be sensible and reasonable, then, to listen to what you say about God. But I would not date a woman who is considering Jesus, but invite her to meet the pastor and anyone else you trust. Oh, yes . . . you can invite her to join in a group activity with other Christians. And get her together with mature and good Christian ladies who you know are good examples.

If a woman you like does become a Christian, I would not consider her for marriage until she is helping you to do better with God and with loving any and all people like Jesus desires us all to do. If she can help you and others, like this, this can mean she would be a good helpmate for Christian marriage.

[anon900]

...........

[Jon-Marc]

Say you've been dating this lady you really dig, and you find out her beliefs(religion-wise) is not in line with yours, would you continue seeing her or foresee something meaningful with her?

I wouldn't date a non-Christian in the first place. I would find out where she was spiritually before getting involved. We are NOT to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.

[Swiss_Guard]

Say you've been dating this lady you really dig, and you find out her beliefs(religion-wise) is not in line with yours, would you continue seeing her or foresee something meaningful with her?

Saint Francis is said to have once had a vison in which he saw the world as a wide and treacherous river, with all of the human race trying to swim across. Those who were strong in Jesus made it across, while others, weighed down by sin and worldly desires, sank to the bottom. The way I look at it, becoming romantically involved with a non-Christian who is not strong in Jesus is like letting a weak person grab onto you as you swim across the river.You might be strong enough to make it across despite their extra weight, or they might just drag you down with them.

[HRoberson]

If your faith is part of who you are; if your political views are part of who you are; if your personal values are part of who you are; if your ideas about raising kids are part of who you are, then you should not pursue a relationship with someone who differs from you.

It isn't about trusting them; it isn't about thinking they're liars or would steal your cash. It is about applying your own values and beliefs within important areas of your life.

[OpenMindOpenHeart]

What if everything else I see in her is aligned with mine(besides our differing religious beliefs), we have similar views in how to discipline kids, similar moral values(we both are family oriented and highly respect our elderly s, and we both volunteer and in the works of doing projects for the community), and we both voted for Barack Obama. It hurts me that we have so MUCH in common, yet so different in the religious aspect :(

[Swiss_Guard]

What if everything else I see in her is aligned with mine(besides our differing religious beliefs), we have similar views in how to discipline kids, similar moral values(we both are family oriented and highly respect our elderly s, and we both volunteer and in the works of doing projects for the community), and we both voted for Barack Obama. It hurts me that we have so MUCH in common, yet so different in the religious aspect :(

Well, your first problem is that you voted for Barack Obama. With that as an indicator, you've got much bigger problems then whether or not you take non-believers seriously. ;)

[HRoberson]

What if everything else I see in her is aligned with mine(besides our differing religious beliefs), we have similar views in how to discipline kids, similar moral values(we both are family oriented and highly respect our elderly s, and we both volunteer and in the works of doing projects for the community), and we both voted for Barack Obama. It hurts me that we have so MUCH in common, yet so different in the religious aspect :(

Let me say this again....if your faith is part of you, and she doesn't buy it, you will only be given yourself heartache later on.

It's entirely up to you, but you asked for input.

[Supplanter]

If those other things you have in common are more important than your relationship with God, they yes you will do just fine with her, but you will be compromising your relationship with Jesus Christ. You will basically be putting God on the back burner and saying this woman is more important that He is in your life, which leads to a bigger issue but there you have it.

If Jesus is more important than all those commonalities (and as Christians, He should be first and foremost in our lives), then your answer is easy in the sense that you know if a woman can't value Jesus Christ the way that you do then the relationship will not have a foundation that results in any solid loving relationship between two people with a shared God-pleasing purpose in life.

You say it hurts you because you have so much in common with her except this, but how does it not hurt you more that she can't understand the love of God in her own heart and life and that she is living in darkness. How does it not scare you to death that she can never love you with a spiritual love - a love that is a choice even when the emotions fade, a love that sees you and is willing to sacrifice for you selflessly the way Jesus does.

And how does it not hurt you more that you could be sacrificing your God-given purpose for a woman who can't even begin to see that you do indeed have a God-given purpose when there are plenty of passionate Christian women who are out there who God can bring you to and you can experience what it is like to be with someone who understands and values your spiritual walk and can encourage you to know God and follow God and give you the strength to accomplish what God wants from you in ways that you can barely fathom right now.

I've been stupid in the past and got involved with some one who did not value Jesus the way that I did and I can tell you that it wasn't horrible, but it was very obvious, even though I made the wrong decision anyway, that it would go nowhere because he could never understand the Holy Spirit or that what God asks us to do is totally different from a worldly perspective.

But when I met my husband, Oh MY GOODNESS, what a difference? I can't even believe I wasted time with that other person. My husband woke my heart up in ways that this other person couldn't even understand. My husband and I have a passionate, intimate relationship, best friends, we talk about everything and don't hold anything back. We are on the same page when it comes to giving and serving God and I can't tell you what an unspeakable joy and comfort it is to have a partner who wants to serve God with you and is willing to make sure you become everything you were meant to be and to be able to openly talk about Jesus and what you are learning as a Christian and helping one another grow.

Don't go for what you see as good when God clearly has something better in mind for you.

[crowcamp]

Say you've been dating this lady you really dig, and you find out her beliefs(religion-wise) is not in line with yours, would you continue seeing her or foresee something meaningful with her?

If your faith is so weak you fear she will lead you astray, I'd say, run away, run away!

If she didn't have her head covered and walked two paces behind you when you met, you shouldn't have had anything to do with her in the first place! Oh, and she should divert her eyes, wear no makeup, and never speak unless spoken to.

Good grief folks, are you all cowards?!!!! The whole point of this walk is to be "yoked with the nonbeliever". It is not about having them corrupt you, but instead you helping them!

No wonder nonbelievers have no interest. 

[Supplanter]

Say you've been dating this lady you really dig, and you find out her beliefs(religion-wise) is not in line with yours, would you continue seeing her or foresee something meaningful with her?

If your faith is so weak you fear she will lead you astray, I'd say, run away, run away!

If she didn't have her head covered and walked two paces behind you when you met, you shouldn't have had anything to do with her in the first place! Oh, and she should divert her eyes, wear no makeup, and never speak unless spoken to.

Good grief folks, are you all cowards?!!!! The whole point of this walk is to be "yoked with the nonbeliever". It is not about having them corrupt you, but instead you helping them!

No wonder nonbelievers have no interest.  

Sorry, but you are saying things that are completely contrary to scripture. It is fine to be a friend of sinners but to bind yourself to them in intimacy is a whole other issue. He is talking about dating but I think we can agree that the intent of dating is to eventually meet a spouse. This is a precursor to partaking in a Godly covenant. He can "help" her without being in an intimate romantic relationship and I mean both physically and emotionally.

I don't think missionary dating is a very wise method of evangelism.

[Supplanter]

Say you've been dating this lady you really dig, and you find out her beliefs(religion-wise) is not in line with yours, would you continue seeing her or foresee something meaningful with her?

If your faith is so weak you fear she will lead you astray, I'd say, run away, run away!

If she didn't have her head covered and walked two paces behind you when you met, you shouldn't have had anything to do with her in the first place! Oh, and she should divert her eyes, wear no makeup, and never speak unless spoken to.

Good grief folks, are you all cowards?!!!! The whole point of this walk is to be "yoked with the nonbeliever". It is not about having them corrupt you, but instead you helping them!

No wonder nonbelievers have no interest. 

and if someone has no interest in Christ then it is because of their own hearts not what others may or may not have done to them. Also, no has at all implied the extremes you are mocking in your post about subjugating women. omen deserve respect and this woman deserves the respect of the OP, but that doesn't mean he should be dating her.

In my opinion, if we respect unbelievers of the opposite sex then we will be people of integrity and character and draw a clear line in the sand that anyone involved romantically with us must love Jesus as we love Jesus. Not only do we do ourselves a disservice if we don't but we do them a disservice because we are being absolutely selfish and rather than our first concern being about their salvation, it is instead about how we feel about them or how they make us feel.

I can guarantee you that no Christian has ever willingly gotten in a relationship with an unbeliever with unselfish motives. We can delude ourselves all we want about how they might get saved because of us, but that is just a way for us to justify an attraction to someone we know we should not be involved with, to make ourselves feel better about nor pursuing God's best for us.

[crowcamp]

 It is fine to be a friend of sinners but to bind yourself to them in intimacy is a whole other issue. -Supplanter

Anything more "intimate" than love? Love of neighbor? Love of even your enemy?

And that's what the Scripture is all about- love.

Tremble, quake, run and hide. I will not. Christ is with me therefore I fear nothing. I will love. Even my enemy.

[crowcamp]

But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and 'sinners'?

[Supplanter]

So crowcamp,

Am I to understand that you do not believe in Christian marriage? As you seem to be interpreting scripture to mean that we should not marry other christians (the healthy) but instead be "strong" and marry non-christians (whoo are sick and need us more) so we can "help" them.

Please give a logical illustration where loving your enemy is an intimate endeavor. Enemies want no intimacy from us and intimacy cannot be forced upon others. I've never dated a enemy to prove my love, have you? And you know good and well that the subject at hand is romantic intimacy and that romantic intimacy is not required to love others. So quit trying to argue semantics. I don't love my child the same way I love my husband nor do I have the same sort of intimacy. I love them in the same measure but not in the same way.

Love is putting aside your own arrogance and selfish desires to serve the needs of others in a Godly manner, not binding yourself in a covenant with someone who doesn't know God because you have soooooooo much in common.

[Lively Stone]

It is fine to be a friend of sinners but to bind yourself to them in intimacy is a whole other issue. -Supplanter

Anything more "intimate" than love? Love of neighbor? Love of even your enemy?

And that's what the Scripture is all about- love.

Tremble, quake, run and hide. I will not. Christ is with me therefore I fear nothing. I will love. Even my enemy.

Would you marry an enemy and sleep with your enemy?

You know, God doesn't tell us who to avoid for His kicks. Everything He tells us and warns us about is for our good. It is Satan's way to fudge the lines.

[crowcamp]

Again, good grief! The OP does not talk about marrying someone! It asks how you would deal with someone you are attracted to that has different beliefs than you do!

Thankfully, Christ is not an elitist and does not fear, or we would all be doomed! That you are saved does not make you "holier-than-thou." It blesses you with an obligation to reach out to all, to love all. Would I marry my enemy? Of course not! Would I do everything in my power to change them from enemy to friend? Absolutely. And I certainly wouldn't run away.

Elitist, judgemental attitudes are stones around the neck of Christianity. Try to love rather than fear. You would be amazed at what Christ can accomplish through you when you do.

[Lively Stone]

Again, good grief! The OP does not talk about marrying someone! It asks how you would deal with someone you are attracted to that has different beliefs than you do!

Thankfully, Christ is not an elitist and does not fear, or we would all be doomed! That you are saved does not make you "holier-than-thou." It blesses you with an obligation to reach out to all, to love all. Would I marry my enemy? Of course not! Would I do everything in my power to change them from enemy to friend? Absolutely. And I certainly wouldn't run away.

Elitist, judgemental attitudes are stones around the neck of Christianity. Try to love rather than fear. You would be amazed at what Christ can accomplish through you when you do.

As a man, you couldn't make an unsaved woman your personal 'project' to get saved. As a friend among other friends, it is safer to do so. God tends to have women gravitate toward women in evangelization, and men toward men. Morally, it is more appropriate.

[fassopony]

Lively, you often take Gods Word and "humanize" it to suit your personal beliefs and preferences.  I have noticed this in many of your posts.  God is not like us, He is far wiser, etc, please don't try and suppose how He would have His work done.

Not an outright thing but it is there and it is not as subtle as one might think ;)

Please don't take offense, I am pretty straight forward, doesn't mean I don't like you or disapprove of you, it just is what it is.


I would go out with an unsaved guy.  Now, keep in mind, I'm not making out or sleeping with anyone.  Any dates are pretty friend-zone anyway, at least with me from the get go.  Would I seriously "court" (for lack of a better word) or marry an unsaved guy?  HECK NO.  But I would go out and watch a ball game, hang out, hit a movie and definitely initiate a hot wing eating contest at which point I would lay the smack down on his sorry behind by ingesting 40 pounds of delicious spicy goodness, winning the competition and irreverently asking him if he wanted to pull my finger.  BLAM!!!!!!!!!!   

See, this is why I have a lot of guy friends and not BOYfriends LOL!!

[JohnDB]

Fassopony goes farther than I would and usually do.

I just don't hang out with the unsaved. (Those that do not profess Jesus as their personal savior)

That is the line...always has been and always will be.

Now granted some that profess and are "saved" often have a real issue with showing any fruits of the Spirit...but I am not their judge. I only judge whether than can have access to me and my family or not.

But as far as sharing a meal in my home or outside I simply don't have the unsaved anywhere near that sort of intimate relationship in my life.  To me it is the same as having someone who is trying to kill my Earthly father over to the house for dinner.  I can't see doing that either.

Sooo....no, there won't be any Atheists or homosexuals or other such enemies of God in my home. I simply won't have any basis for a friendship with them.  A working relationship is fine...a casual acquaintance type relationship is fine.  But aide and comfort to the enemy of my Lord and Savior is treason...I ain't gonna do it.



BUT

On the lighter side...I could see a relationship going something along these lines:

[crowcamp]

But as far as sharing a meal in my home or outside I simply don't have the unsaved anywhere near that sort of intimate relationship in my life -JohnDB

I really, really hope you're kidding here, John, but most likely you are not.

So, we are given the greatest love of all and asked, no more than asked- commanded- to forward that love, and it seems many who have received that greatest love feel it is their right to pick and choose?

If I say I don't get it, I at least hope you marginally understand.

[JohnDB]

Nope. I don't.

Its sad that you don't understand that "unsaved" are enemies of my best friend trying desperately to de-throne him.  I have my loyalties & obviously Crowcamp you have yours. 

[stevehut]

OpenMind, assuming I was still single, I would never find myself in that situation. Spiritual compatibility has always been my first criterion, before the first date.

[crowcamp]

Nope. I don't.

Its sad that you don't understand that "unsaved" are enemies of my best friend trying desperately to de-throne him.  I have my loyalties & obviously Crowcamp you have yours. 

What I have, John, is faith. One can either believe He tells us, "Be afraid, be very afraid", or, "Fear not, I am with you always." Those "unsaved" that concern you so much are precisely the ones He sends us to love. He is not afraid; why are you?

Besides, you and I were once among those unsaved. By your thinking, we should have been cast out, avoided, no one should have reached out to us. Well, they did. Now, are we to reach out to only those of our beliefs? How quickly we forget!

I will continue to share all I have with the lepers, the harlots, the addicts, the "unsaved", the "unclean". I will "eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners", "sharing a meal in my home or outside". And I will answer today's "Pharisees and teachers of the law" as Jesus answered to them. I will love as He commands, I will allow Him to live in me, and I will never be afraid.

[JohnDB]

It is one thing to witness to people. It is another thing entirely to make the "un-saved" your inner circle of influence in your life.

"Do not be deceived, bad company corrupt good morals"

[crowcamp]

It is one thing to witness to people. It is another thing entirely to make the "un-saved" your inner circle of influence in your life.

"Do not be deceived, bad company corrupt good morals"

If you are not willing to share a meal with the unsaved, I would think witnessing to be rather difficult.

Basically, we see this walk with Christ from different windows. I know my view will not change, and greatly doubt yours will, either. I will continue to welcome one and all into my circle. Without fear, with love, I welcome all.

And good luck with your view.

[M Gold]

Someone should go backintime and tell Jesus that he should not eat or drink with the "unsaved," and that His priorities were out of whack.

[Bitter Sweet]

I will continue to share all I have with the lepers, the harlots, the addicts, the "unsaved", the "unclean". I will "eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners", "sharing a meal in my home or outside". And I will answer today's "Pharisees and teachers of the law" as Jesus answered to them. I will love as He commands, I will allow Him to live in me, and I will never be afraid.

Not everything is about sinning when we mingle with these people, they have hearts too. I thank God everyday, throughout my sinning life, people welcomed me into their homes and called me their friend. I thank God for my husband who never mentions my past as a prostitute and he loves me the same way Jesus does.

I thank God for you being who you are crowcamp. Even Jesus was made a little lower than the angels. Who are we to be above sinners?

[Supplanter]

The issue at hand is not whether or not to be friends of sinners. The issue is about becoming romantically involved with them. There is a big difference. If anyone would read the OP then we could stay on topic.

[Jaime]

Should the thread title have a comma after Non-believer and before seriously? As in would you ever take a non-believer (as a spouse), seriously?

[Bitter Sweet]

My husband was a non-believer, I say was because I think he is a believer now. He treated me and accepted me like no other Christian ever has. He has always had strong morals and put his family first. He has a conscious, keeps his word, does the right thing and most importantly does not judge.

He's cleaner than I ever was.

[OpenMindOpenHeart]

To Bittersweet....think???
What makes you "think" he is a believer now?