Is it normal to still miss your ex?

[Crazyforlife]

Hi there. I'm looking for answers or advice, I don't know. I'm deeply troubled because my ex bf andi broke up almost two years ago after he cheated on me. I started dating another guy who is absolutely wonderful! He's respectful and sweet and everything a girl could want. Problem is, I still can't stop thinking about my ex. I would never go back to him after what he did but shouldn't I be over him by now? I can't shake it. Do y'all think God is trying to tell me something or is Satan trying to mess with me.

[chosenone]

No I dont think God is trying to tell you something, but sometimes we think the grass is always greener. Try and stop yourself dwelling on him or the past, and be thankful for what you have now.

[Helen]

If the ex you are talking about was your first love then no, there is a way you will never really forget it.  I'm 65 and I still remember with a smile a guy from when I was 14!  He was sweet, kind, gentle and Kent will have a little place in my heart always.  I have no idea where he is, or even if he is still alive all these years later.  But he made me feel special during a very awkward time in my life and for that alone I will always remember him with a smile.

I'm a little bothered by the "he cheated on me" part.  Were you having sex with this guy?  If not, in what way did he cheat on you?  There is no reason to think you own someone or he owns you.  Dating several people at the same time is not a crime.  Stay away from sexual connections and just accept that some people will always be special in your heart.  It's nice to look back and smile, but it's even better to enjoy what we have today and walk with the Lord into the future.

[Crazyforlife]

That the thing. I try not to but it's bothering me that things still remind me of him. He wasn't my first boyfriend but he was my first love.Im 25 and dating people is fine. He asked me to be his gf. We promised each other we would stay true to each other and not see anyone else. I look at dating as a test drive before marriage. He couldn't stay true when we weren't married so he cheated and yes. He and his friend went out and slept with a girl together and I DO see that as cheating. I'm just bothered by the fact that everything that used to remind me of him still does. I still miss him but I try not to. It's not like I'm dreaming of him or what ever but after all this time he should be faded into the wind. Or no? 

[Helen]

I was married to my children's father for 20 years.  If I had had ONE brain cell in my stupid head when I was 25, there is no way I would have married him as he had already been sleeping around.  Marriage only slowed him down for awhile.  Did I love him?  Absolutely, yes.  He had been my high school sweetheart (from mid-junior year).  One person  cannot make a relationship.  It takes two.  You were VERY wise to get out of that relationship.  The pain of being with a person like that only increases with time.  You'll get over him.  Go ahead and save that corner of your heart for a smile, but nothing else.  And, for Pete's sake (and yours) don't have sex before marriage!

[chosenone]

That the thing. I try not to but it's bothering me that things still remind me of him. He wasn't my first boyfriend but he was my first love.Im 25 and dating people is fine. He asked me to be his gf. We promised each other we would stay true to each other and not see anyone else. I look at dating as a test drive before marriage. He couldn't stay true when we weren't married so he cheated and yes. He and his friend went out and slept with a girl together and I DO see that as cheating. I'm just bothered by the fact that everything that used to remind me of him still does. I still miss him but I try not to. It's not like I'm dreaming of him or what ever but after all this time he should be faded into the wind. Or no? 

Of course it was cheating, with a girl they clearly thought nothing of. Never ever marry a cheater or a guy who has no morals or integrity.
I am sad that you still miss him after what he did, but that will fade if you don't allow yourself to dwell or fantasise of what may have been. Live for now with the guy you are now with, and don't waste any more of your life over this guy who isn't worth it.