It’s been said, and I’m sure that you’ve heard many times, that the middle letter in the word sin is “I”. Sin is manifested when each of us tries to control our own lives. Ask me how I know!
The problem that I had before I surrendered my life to Christ was that I wanted to be, and I believed that I was, in control of my own life. I was the one who decided what I would do, and when I would do it.
I was a self-made man. In my own eyes, and perhaps in the eyes of people of this world, I was regarded as one who had earned and deserved respect from other people. I had made the best of a bad situation. I had risen above the limitations of my childhood. I had worked and studied hard and obtained a good education. I earned a Masters Degree in Administration; and I had an undergraduate degree in electrical engineering. I had a long and successful career as an Engineer. I earned a very good income. I owned a beautifully furnished home, a sports car, motorcycles and other things that are valued by worldly standards. I had a wonderful family. In short, I had made it. I had overcome some significant odds and obtained the American Dream. (Notice the use of the word “I” – 13 times just in this paragraph).
I considered myself to be the lord of the manner. I viewed my home and my family as my kingdom. It’s somewhat funny now, but there were days when after cutting the grass and carefully manicuring the yard that my wife would catch me standing on our front porch looking outward basking in and taking pleasure in the things that I had just done. This practice actually became a ritual for me, and we both referred to it as me surveying my kingdom.
My belief was most evident in the indulgence of my lusting for beautiful women, and my addiction to pornographic material. As the lord of my own life I decided when and how much porn to take in, when I should be able to visit strip clubs, etc. I’m sure you get the picture. Everything in my life was about me. After all, I had made myself into the man I had become. Certainly if I could bring myself out of a broken home, with parents who were stuck in dead-end blue-collar jobs, then I certainly had the right to decide what I could do and when I could do it. I would consider my wife’s feelings about such matters, but in the end the decision was mine and she would have to accept it. I was, after all, the head of the house.
The point is that this raises what I believe is the most critical issue when it comes to faith, life, addictions and almost any other significant viewpoint that we can have. “Who is in control of your life?”
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
I lived the first 33 years of my life believing and acting like I was in control of it. And although I did manage to achieve some things that many people would say are good, overall I made a mess of my life and the lives of others around me. In addition, I was always longing for something. I had a yearning deep inside me that was insatiable. Each time I thought that I had achieved or obtained something that would make the yearning fade away, it would come back a short time afterwards. I tried to stop the yearning with larger more expensive homes, more powerful or more prestigious jobs, higher salaries, flashy cars, big screen TVs, extravagant vacations, etc.
Through my faith in Jesus Christ and in my daily walk with Him, I have learned and I now understand that the yearning inside me was caused by a burning desire to be loved unconditionally. I desired a personal relationship with God through His Son – the savior of the world. I was broken, and until I knew Christ I tried to fix myself.
Now that I have a relationship with God, through His Son Jesus Christ, my life is completely different. I have let go of trying to run my life, and I have surrendered my life to be lived in accordance with the will of the Holy Spirit that dwells within me. I’m not perfect by any means, I have a lot more growing to do, but the yearning deep inside me is GONE! I am no longer striving to achieve the quick fix with material things and the things that the world tries to make us think are important. I have been healed by the grace of God, and my faith in Jesus Christ – Alleluia!
I can honestly say that I am trusting in the LORD with all of my heart and I am no longer leaning on my own understanding of things. I give Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit all glory, honor and praises due for transforming my life. I am a new creation in Christ Jesus and I love Him so much! It took time, but God has delivered me from my addictive behavior. Thank you Father.
So you may be asking, “What does it mean to trust in the LORD?” To me it means finding out what God wants us to do, and then doing it! It all comes down to that one single word, “obedience.” If we really have faith and we really believe, then we will obey. It’s as simple as that. If we believe that God exists, that He is our Father and He loves us so much that He sent His Son into the World to save the world, then we will obey His words and will for how we are suppose to live.
I am challenging anyone reading this that has an addiction, that doesn’t yet have a relationship with Jesus Christ, or who is still trying to run their own life to try it God’s way. Haven’t you tried your way long enough?
It’s time to let go and let God be the LORD of your life!