by Rubel Shelly
The term “mentor” is enjoying widespread popularity these days. There are various disciplines in which mentoring is actively encouraged – including business, education, and spiritual life. If you are over 40 and have experienced any degree of success in your field, you have had the experience of having one or more persons new to that domain ask you to be his or her mentor.
I’m all for it! It is a revival of the most ancient and effective of teaching methods. Before our modern educational models emerged, blacksmiths, lawyers, carpenters, physicians, and artists learned their trades through apprenticeship. One judged capable of the task would often live in the home of the master in order to learn all the nuances of a lifestyle that made him what he was.
A student who can pass an exam over textbook materials still needs to “get her feet wet” in the actual experience of filling out a client’s tax forms, giving an injection, or leading a group of workers through a complex project. Men and women in local churches are choosing to pair up with more mature mentors for the sake of prayer, Bible study, and guidance in the spiritual disciplines.
A recent article in the Chronicle of Higher Education points out two difference-makers in mentoring. Tracey Lewis-Giggetts teaches English and tells the story of her own experience in mentoring a student around two key elements.
First, caring sometimes gets overlooked in professional contexts. Thus a company has John walk Bill through its sales or HR documents, or a church sets up discipleship teams to match older and younger believers. Why do some of those relationships get astounding results and others fall flat?
A mentor-teacher certainly should know more than the newbie-student, but it isn’t his responsibility just to give out information. The new person is insecure. Someone dealing with a new product or service is a bit frightened. And there are always personal and family issues behind the scene that affect one’s ability to focus and function. Without ceasing to teach, pay attention to the person. Let him know you care about him as a person. In the process of mentoring, show that you understand friendship as well as company policies.
Second, Ms. Lewis-Giggetts reminds mentors to listen more than we talk. Perhaps you are incredibly wise. You almost surely know more about your product, service, or subject matter than the person you are mentoring. But the best way to find out what she does or doesn’t know and what she needs to focus on to achieve a positive outcome is to listen attentively.
Lewis-Giggetts quotes filmmaker Steven Spielberg: “The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.” Spielberg is correct. Parents, employers, and Bible teachers need to be empowering others, not flaunting themselves.
As with Jesus, it is the authentic one-on-one that makes the difference.