Ten Ways For Husbands to Nurture Romance

Because of Valentines Day, February is known as the month of love. But is there anytime of the year when we don’t want to feel loved? Wouldn’t it be ridiculous to wait another 11 months to show that special one in your life that you truly love them?

Keeping romance alive is important in a marriage. Have you ever wondered why romance novels account for 48.6 percent of the mass market (paperback) book sales in the United States? Or why soap operas are so popular?

Women don’t need a handsome stranger on a white horse to ride into town, sweep them off their feet, and then disappear into the horizon. They need romance (the old-fashioned way to say it is that “Women need to be courted!”). Unfortunately after the wedding ceremony many men who just said “I do” suddenly say “I don’t” — as in “I don’t have to be romantic anymore.”

There’s a difference in not wanting to be romantic and not knowing how to be romantic. My husband, Bill, is one of those who has to work at it. Let me illustrate.

I have a friend who is thirty nine and she just had her first baby. After her baby was born, her husband surprised her with a diamond necklace. I had twins and do you know what Bill surprised me with? A new pair of tennis shoes. Not exactly romantic, but thoughtful.

After years of listening to me lecture on the importance of romance in marriage, he finally “got” the idea. One day he came home from work, and I could tell by the look on his face he was very proud of himself about something. “Don’t come in the back of the house until I call you,” he said. Then he took five bags of mystery stuff from Kmart and disappeared. After about twenty minutes he called me.

“Just look in the bathroom,” he said as he grinned.

I looked and I couldn’t believe it. Knowing that purple is my favorite color, he’d bought purple bath towels, purple candles, tiny purple soap shaped like flowers and a spa kit for the bathtub. It wasn’t my birthday and it wasn’t even close to Valentines Day. He did it “just because.”

For those men who would like to be more romantic and don’t know how, here are 10 helpful hints. You can pick the ones you like the best. You can combine two or three to really make a good impression. Or if you really want to be a “godly Don Juan type,” you can go for all ten at once!

  • Buy or rent her favorite movie and take it home to watch with her. Don’t go to sleep, watch it and act interested even if you aren’t. Hold her hand. Make her popcorn and clean up the mess. If there’s one thing women like, it’s for someone else to do the cleaning.
  • Bring her a bouquet of her favorite flowers and hand write a personal message on the card. Preferably something mushy.
  • Buy a CD that has “your” song on it. Play it at home when you’re alone and hold her close.
  • Write her a handwritten letter and tell her how much she means to you. Include some of your favorite memories.
  • Plan a weekend get away for the two of you and handle all the details.
  • Give her a day at the spa; complete with a facial, manicure, pedicure, and massage.
  • Write a poem or a song for her. It doesn’t matter if it stinks. If it’s from the heart, she’ll love it.
  • Write sweet notes for her to find throughout the day and put them in her purse, her car, or on the refrigerator, wherever she’s sure to look.
  • Do the unexpected. If every year you get her flowers, this year buy jewelry. Dogs might be a man’s best friend but women love trinkets that sparkle and glitter.

And my number one romantic tip:

  • Renew your vows. You don’t have to have a public ceremony, although that’s romantic too. Reciting your vows again to each other, even when it’s just the two of you together, reminds you of all the things you promised each other when love was new. Get out the video tape of your wedding or the photo album and look at it together. It will help you remember your vows, especially the one that goes, “I promise to love, honor, and be romantic until death we do part.”

Well, maybe you didn’t promise to be romantic, but you probably should have! Romance helps keep “mama” happy and as we all know, “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”